| The LGA in 2002 - As Pathetic As Ever - A Look at the Numbers |
Kolumnist's Korner
January 31, 2002
January 31, 2002
| by Pavlo "The Greek" Hornsbidakis |
No doubt over the course of the 2001
season, fans such as yourself have
poured over the LGA statistics on a
regular basis, either to look for
positives (a challenge indeed!) or
for a good laugh.
Being reknowned as an oddsmaker, I
have taken some time to provide some
expert analysis of the year's stats.
Some of my findings are incredible.
Let's analyze the numbers.
Only two LGA pros (???) managed to
average below 100 in scoring for
2001. Can you imagine what that
figure would have been if the
weather was bad?
Lefties finished 1-2-3-4 in scoring
average. What else is new? Since the
departure of Biggus Dickus to the
Western Tour, it's been lean times
for righties, and unless such Lefty
Olympic performers as Ferrari Fernie
or Big Marjk qualify for tour
status, the tough times should
continue. Costa Doinbiznis? Al Fred?
Petro Lewinsky? Please!!!
And speaking of Lewinsky, his 125.78
scoring average for 2001 was even
worse than Hornsby's early years,
circa 1992, when he would routinely
average 120. It is encouraging for
Lewinsky to note that Hornsby is
still playing golf (sort of).
Of all qualifiers (minimum 2 rounds
for statistical purposes), out of
160 rounds, a total of 2880 holes,
only 11 birdies were made, which is
only one birdie for every 261.82
holes played in the LGA last year.
That figure would have been slightly
more respectable without P.P.
Hornsby in the LGA. Hornsby managed
a grand total of zero birdies in 738
holes! This statistic requires no
further comment, but if you consider
that 206 overall greens were reached
in regulation (translating to
exactly 206 birdie putts for golf
students out there), you quickly
come to realize that the choke
factor played an important role for
everyone when it came to making
birdies.
season, fans such as yourself have
poured over the LGA statistics on a
regular basis, either to look for
positives (a challenge indeed!) or
for a good laugh.
Being reknowned as an oddsmaker, I
have taken some time to provide some
expert analysis of the year's stats.
Some of my findings are incredible.
Let's analyze the numbers.
Only two LGA pros (???) managed to
average below 100 in scoring for
2001. Can you imagine what that
figure would have been if the
weather was bad?
Lefties finished 1-2-3-4 in scoring
average. What else is new? Since the
departure of Biggus Dickus to the
Western Tour, it's been lean times
for righties, and unless such Lefty
Olympic performers as Ferrari Fernie
or Big Marjk qualify for tour
status, the tough times should
continue. Costa Doinbiznis? Al Fred?
Petro Lewinsky? Please!!!
And speaking of Lewinsky, his 125.78
scoring average for 2001 was even
worse than Hornsby's early years,
circa 1992, when he would routinely
average 120. It is encouraging for
Lewinsky to note that Hornsby is
still playing golf (sort of).
Of all qualifiers (minimum 2 rounds
for statistical purposes), out of
160 rounds, a total of 2880 holes,
only 11 birdies were made, which is
only one birdie for every 261.82
holes played in the LGA last year.
That figure would have been slightly
more respectable without P.P.
Hornsby in the LGA. Hornsby managed
a grand total of zero birdies in 738
holes! This statistic requires no
further comment, but if you consider
that 206 overall greens were reached
in regulation (translating to
exactly 206 birdie putts for golf
students out there), you quickly
come to realize that the choke
factor played an important role for
everyone when it came to making
birdies.
By the way, the league percentage
for greens in regulation for 2001
was 7.1%. Particularly responsible
for that crappy number are Al Fred
with 3.1%, lefty loser P.P. Hornsby
at 2.3%, and Petro Lewinsky at a
horrible 1.9%.
If there was any positive in the
birdie situation, it would be that 5
of 11 birdies were made on par-4's.
Talk about looking for a cloud in a
silver lining!!!
This oddsmaker believes that a
golfer is in trouble when he pays a
higher percentage in sales taxes
than he gets greens in regulation.
Of course, being based in Quebec,
this fact is true of all LGA members.
Fortunately, fairways hit were not
included among LGA statistics in
2001.
On par-4's and par-5's, only Hale
Erwin Norman and Dr. Mario Blondin
managed to average below
double-bogey for the season.
There were an aggregate 69 holes
with 4 putts or more!!! It's a
miracle that the greens had any
grass left on them with those
performances.
Some other incredible numbers jumped
out of the page during my analysis.
P.P. Hornsby made 4653 shots in
2001. He 3-putted 166 times!!!
Petro Lewinsky averaged 8.67 strokes
on par-5's for the entire season!!!
He also averaged 42.33 putts per
round!!!
Dr. Mario Blondin won 13 beers
versus 2 lost.
39 of the year's 42 events were won
by the same two players. 41 of them
were won by lefties.
Naturally, with such embarassing
numbers, I could go on and on...but
your time, obviously unlike that of
LGA members, is precious.
for greens in regulation for 2001
was 7.1%. Particularly responsible
for that crappy number are Al Fred
with 3.1%, lefty loser P.P. Hornsby
at 2.3%, and Petro Lewinsky at a
horrible 1.9%.
If there was any positive in the
birdie situation, it would be that 5
of 11 birdies were made on par-4's.
Talk about looking for a cloud in a
silver lining!!!
This oddsmaker believes that a
golfer is in trouble when he pays a
higher percentage in sales taxes
than he gets greens in regulation.
Of course, being based in Quebec,
this fact is true of all LGA members.
Fortunately, fairways hit were not
included among LGA statistics in
2001.
On par-4's and par-5's, only Hale
Erwin Norman and Dr. Mario Blondin
managed to average below
double-bogey for the season.
There were an aggregate 69 holes
with 4 putts or more!!! It's a
miracle that the greens had any
grass left on them with those
performances.
Some other incredible numbers jumped
out of the page during my analysis.
P.P. Hornsby made 4653 shots in
2001. He 3-putted 166 times!!!
Petro Lewinsky averaged 8.67 strokes
on par-5's for the entire season!!!
He also averaged 42.33 putts per
round!!!
Dr. Mario Blondin won 13 beers
versus 2 lost.
39 of the year's 42 events were won
by the same two players. 41 of them
were won by lefties.
Naturally, with such embarassing
numbers, I could go on and on...but
your time, obviously unlike that of
LGA members, is precious.
Pavlo "The Greek" Hornsbidakis is
a former contributor to the
Hackers' Review. His credentials
as an oddsmaker are legendary but
not confirmed.
a former contributor to the
Hackers' Review. His credentials
as an oddsmaker are legendary but
not confirmed.
