| The Month in Review |
| A monthly feature recapping all Lefty Golfers Association events |
| September 2004 |
SEPTEMBER 4, 2004 - CAUGHNAWAGA
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
HALE E. NORMAN
PAUL HORNSBY III
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
HALE E. NORMAN
PAUL HORNSBY III
45-46--- 91
46-45--- 91
54-48--- 102
52-52--- 104
46-45--- 91
54-48--- 102
52-52--- 104
After a rare weekend off, the LGA kicked off the critical month of September and the long Labour Day weekend with an event at
Caughnawaga. Thanks in part to a pukey start by a couple of lefty veterans, a two-way race quickly emerged between Chris The
9-Iron Kid and Fred Cupholders, the latter overcoming a five shot deficit at one point, but it was Chris The 9-Iron Kid who rallied in
the end with a par on 18, his fifth of the day, to force a tie and another half victory for each. Both The 9-Iron Kid and righthander
Cupholders would arrive at the clubhouse with a respectable 91. Remember that in the LGA, in the event of a tie between a lefty
and a rightie, the lefthander always gets top billing. Taking third place was Hale Erwin Norman. Hale finished 11 shots back with
a 102, ending his streak of consecutive event wins at two. It was also the first time he failed to score in double-digits in four
events, a failed day for the perennial champion indeed. Norman four-putted three times, an indication of just how lousy his
performance on the greens really was. And speaking of failed days, Paul Hornsby III, after a remarkable summer, posted his
highest score since June 27th, falling to the cellar for the first time since that date. It was the first time in his long and
vomit-reeking career he managed to go eleven events without finishing in last place. Whether Hornsby's 104 is a warning sign of
his return to incompetence is yet to be determined, but a look a 'Da Turd' 's track record would indicate that this is probably the
case. As a result of today's action, Chris The 9-Iron Kid and Fred Cupholders are now the proud owners of three and a half
tournament victories each for the season.
Caughnawaga. Thanks in part to a pukey start by a couple of lefty veterans, a two-way race quickly emerged between Chris The
9-Iron Kid and Fred Cupholders, the latter overcoming a five shot deficit at one point, but it was Chris The 9-Iron Kid who rallied in
the end with a par on 18, his fifth of the day, to force a tie and another half victory for each. Both The 9-Iron Kid and righthander
Cupholders would arrive at the clubhouse with a respectable 91. Remember that in the LGA, in the event of a tie between a lefty
and a rightie, the lefthander always gets top billing. Taking third place was Hale Erwin Norman. Hale finished 11 shots back with
a 102, ending his streak of consecutive event wins at two. It was also the first time he failed to score in double-digits in four
events, a failed day for the perennial champion indeed. Norman four-putted three times, an indication of just how lousy his
performance on the greens really was. And speaking of failed days, Paul Hornsby III, after a remarkable summer, posted his
highest score since June 27th, falling to the cellar for the first time since that date. It was the first time in his long and
vomit-reeking career he managed to go eleven events without finishing in last place. Whether Hornsby's 104 is a warning sign of
his return to incompetence is yet to be determined, but a look a 'Da Turd' 's track record would indicate that this is probably the
case. As a result of today's action, Chris The 9-Iron Kid and Fred Cupholders are now the proud owners of three and a half
tournament victories each for the season.
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Photos not available
SEPTEMBER 6, 2004 - LAPRAIRIE
HALE E. NORMAN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
PAUL HORNSBY III
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
PAUL HORNSBY III
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
40-47--- 87
46-49--- 95
46-52--- 98
50-50--- 100
48-61--- 109
55-67--- 122
46-49--- 95
46-52--- 98
50-50--- 100
48-61--- 109
55-67--- 122
The annual LGA tradition continued with a visit to Laprairie where a field of six vied for the Workman's Compensation Trophy,
honouring all those who have either been injured or faked injury on the job. Most of the field may have wanted to apply for such
compensation by the ninth hole, as their chances were severely injured by a front nine 40 posted by defending champion Hale
Erwin Norman. Hale would go on to card six pars for the round en route to a personal season low 87 and an easy eight stroke
victory over Costa Doinbiznis. It was Norman's first sub-90 round of the season after performing the feat seven times in 2003. For
top righthander and runner-up Doinbiznis, it was also one his best performances of the year, and only the third time in '04 he
managed to break 100, and he may have even been able to post a career best were it not for two bad holes. Hanging on to third
place in spite of a disappointing back nine 52 was Fred Cupholders. Fred has definitely shown signs of returning to more normal
play after a summer which included an amazing 84 on August 7th, but he remains in number one spot for the time being, with a
relatively large cushion in his quest to become the Association's first rightie to win the scoring average championship. with maybe
a month and a half left in the 2004 season. Paul Hornsby III was next in the order of merit with a fourth place finish, with his best
putting performance of the year (30 putts), but Paul failed to break 100 again, bringing his personal hot streak to an official end.
Hornsby has now gone 12 seasons without winning a named LGA tournament. Another disappointing lefty showing was put up
by Chris The 9-Iron Kid, who continues to be inconsistent (both in play quality and in his willingness to appear for LGA events).
9-Iron went out in only 48 shots, but fired a 61 on the back nine which included a brain-spinning 10 on the par-4 15th. Completing
the field was Pietro Lewinsky, also posting a disappointing back nine 67 after a respectable (by his inimitable standards) 55
going out. Lewinsky one-putted the first four holes, leaving a temporary impression that his putting was greatly improved, but the
law of averages would catch up to Pietro yet again by day's end. The trophy awarding ceremony was low key, with Hale Erwin
Norman presenting the trophy to himself, but then a cameraman appeared and the ceremony was redone to include other
people, mostly for purposes of posterity. Not one victim of a workplace accident was invited to attend the event.
honouring all those who have either been injured or faked injury on the job. Most of the field may have wanted to apply for such
compensation by the ninth hole, as their chances were severely injured by a front nine 40 posted by defending champion Hale
Erwin Norman. Hale would go on to card six pars for the round en route to a personal season low 87 and an easy eight stroke
victory over Costa Doinbiznis. It was Norman's first sub-90 round of the season after performing the feat seven times in 2003. For
top righthander and runner-up Doinbiznis, it was also one his best performances of the year, and only the third time in '04 he
managed to break 100, and he may have even been able to post a career best were it not for two bad holes. Hanging on to third
place in spite of a disappointing back nine 52 was Fred Cupholders. Fred has definitely shown signs of returning to more normal
play after a summer which included an amazing 84 on August 7th, but he remains in number one spot for the time being, with a
relatively large cushion in his quest to become the Association's first rightie to win the scoring average championship. with maybe
a month and a half left in the 2004 season. Paul Hornsby III was next in the order of merit with a fourth place finish, with his best
putting performance of the year (30 putts), but Paul failed to break 100 again, bringing his personal hot streak to an official end.
Hornsby has now gone 12 seasons without winning a named LGA tournament. Another disappointing lefty showing was put up
by Chris The 9-Iron Kid, who continues to be inconsistent (both in play quality and in his willingness to appear for LGA events).
9-Iron went out in only 48 shots, but fired a 61 on the back nine which included a brain-spinning 10 on the par-4 15th. Completing
the field was Pietro Lewinsky, also posting a disappointing back nine 67 after a respectable (by his inimitable standards) 55
going out. Lewinsky one-putted the first four holes, leaving a temporary impression that his putting was greatly improved, but the
law of averages would catch up to Pietro yet again by day's end. The trophy awarding ceremony was low key, with Hale Erwin
Norman presenting the trophy to himself, but then a cameraman appeared and the ceremony was redone to include other
people, mostly for purposes of posterity. Not one victim of a workplace accident was invited to attend the event.
Photos not available
THE WORKMAN'S COMPENSATION TROPHY
SEPTEMBER 18, 2004 - LAFLEUR
DR. MARIO BLONDIN - Ireland
HALE E. NORMAN - Germany
CHRIS 9-IRON KID - Greece
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS - Cuba
*MIKE GONZALES - Mexico
*FRED CUPHOLDERS - Lebanon
*MARKO MIRA - Barbados
PAUL HORNSBY III - England
*D. KRAFTDINNER - New Zealand
*JOHN DAILY - Senegal
*PIETRO LEWINSKY - Italy
*CAT WOMAN - Andora
HALE E. NORMAN - Germany
CHRIS 9-IRON KID - Greece
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS - Cuba
*MIKE GONZALES - Mexico
*FRED CUPHOLDERS - Lebanon
*MARKO MIRA - Barbados
PAUL HORNSBY III - England
*D. KRAFTDINNER - New Zealand
*JOHN DAILY - Senegal
*PIETRO LEWINSKY - Italy
*CAT WOMAN - Andora
54-42--- 96
53-44--- 97
52-46--- 98
50-50--- 100
47-56--- 103
50-55--- 105
50-55--- 105
57-53--- 110
53-57--- 110
56-60--- 116
57-60--- 117
81-84--- 165
53-44--- 97
52-46--- 98
50-50--- 100
47-56--- 103
50-55--- 105
50-55--- 105
57-53--- 110
53-57--- 110
56-60--- 116
57-60--- 117
81-84--- 165
As always, or almost always, the Lefty Olympics of Golf, the third and final major tournament of the 2004 LGA season, attracted
the largest field of the season, with twelve nations sending representatives. Due to circumstances beyond the control of the
LGA, the tournament started at 6:48 AM, an ungodly hour for a usually hungover lefty contingent, but somehow righthanders
appeared even more bleary-eyed than their lefty counterparts, and southpaws walked away with a 1-2-3 sweep of the medals.
Dr. Mario Blondin, with a late charge which included a birdie on the beer hole 17th, won his second career gold medal and
second major of the year by a single stroke over four-time champion Hale Erwin Norman of Germany. It was Blondin's first
appearance since August 22nd and only his fifth sub-100 round of the year, but his timing was obviously great on this day.
Runner-up Norman, working on two hours sleep, had a coffee through nine, and saw his game improve immensely on the back
nine, where he would fire a 44 to clinch second spot. Completing the lefty sweep was a drowsy Chris The 9-Iron Kid, who also
had a strong back nine to squeak into the medals. In fact, the only players to break 50 on the back nine were the medalists, with
everyone else falling victim to Lafleur's narrow back nine (as well as lack of sleep, with the exception of Pietro Lewinsky). Top
righthander and fourth place finisher was 2003 silver medalist Costa Doinbiznis of Cuba, who might have repeated as medalist
were it not for consecutive triple bogeys on 12 and 13. Mexico's Mike Gonzales failed to take advantage of a front-nine 47, the
only sub-50 front, falling back to fifth by the time he reached the clubhouse. His 10 on the par-5 18th did not help matters. One of
the great disappointments of the day was a sleepy Fred Cupholders, the LGA's number one player (for now), who displayed his
most unspectacular play of the summer, finishing in a sixth place tie with newcomer Marko Mira of Barbados. Mira failed to score
a par for the round but yet still was able to tie Cupholders. Even worse was a red-eyed Paul Hornsby III, who after a fine summer
of golf (by his standards, of course), disappointed his fans with an eighth-place tie with Don Kraftdinner of New Zealand, a bad
showing even for Hornsby. His 11 on the par-4 2nd hole caused much of the damage. Kraftdinner was in contention for a while,
but fell back as the more experienced lefties made their back nine charge. Another newbie, John Daily, wearing the colours of
Senegal, rounded out the top ten with a 116, one shot better than a wide awake Pietro Lewinsky, who scored consecutive pars
on two and three, a career first, and led the tournament through five holes, but the perennial long shot fell back as expected
coming in. Still it was an okay performance for Lewinsky. Top woman, top alien, and last place finisher Cat Woman, who
represented Andora, posted her usual high score, but her 12th place finish is one of Andora's better Olympic results in any
sport. The victory complicates Dr. Blondin's season somewhat. Although it had been considered his worst ever, the doctor still
won two of the three majors. His victory was not surprising, but the fact that he showed up was.
the largest field of the season, with twelve nations sending representatives. Due to circumstances beyond the control of the
LGA, the tournament started at 6:48 AM, an ungodly hour for a usually hungover lefty contingent, but somehow righthanders
appeared even more bleary-eyed than their lefty counterparts, and southpaws walked away with a 1-2-3 sweep of the medals.
Dr. Mario Blondin, with a late charge which included a birdie on the beer hole 17th, won his second career gold medal and
second major of the year by a single stroke over four-time champion Hale Erwin Norman of Germany. It was Blondin's first
appearance since August 22nd and only his fifth sub-100 round of the year, but his timing was obviously great on this day.
Runner-up Norman, working on two hours sleep, had a coffee through nine, and saw his game improve immensely on the back
nine, where he would fire a 44 to clinch second spot. Completing the lefty sweep was a drowsy Chris The 9-Iron Kid, who also
had a strong back nine to squeak into the medals. In fact, the only players to break 50 on the back nine were the medalists, with
everyone else falling victim to Lafleur's narrow back nine (as well as lack of sleep, with the exception of Pietro Lewinsky). Top
righthander and fourth place finisher was 2003 silver medalist Costa Doinbiznis of Cuba, who might have repeated as medalist
were it not for consecutive triple bogeys on 12 and 13. Mexico's Mike Gonzales failed to take advantage of a front-nine 47, the
only sub-50 front, falling back to fifth by the time he reached the clubhouse. His 10 on the par-5 18th did not help matters. One of
the great disappointments of the day was a sleepy Fred Cupholders, the LGA's number one player (for now), who displayed his
most unspectacular play of the summer, finishing in a sixth place tie with newcomer Marko Mira of Barbados. Mira failed to score
a par for the round but yet still was able to tie Cupholders. Even worse was a red-eyed Paul Hornsby III, who after a fine summer
of golf (by his standards, of course), disappointed his fans with an eighth-place tie with Don Kraftdinner of New Zealand, a bad
showing even for Hornsby. His 11 on the par-4 2nd hole caused much of the damage. Kraftdinner was in contention for a while,
but fell back as the more experienced lefties made their back nine charge. Another newbie, John Daily, wearing the colours of
Senegal, rounded out the top ten with a 116, one shot better than a wide awake Pietro Lewinsky, who scored consecutive pars
on two and three, a career first, and led the tournament through five holes, but the perennial long shot fell back as expected
coming in. Still it was an okay performance for Lewinsky. Top woman, top alien, and last place finisher Cat Woman, who
represented Andora, posted her usual high score, but her 12th place finish is one of Andora's better Olympic results in any
sport. The victory complicates Dr. Blondin's season somewhat. Although it had been considered his worst ever, the doctor still
won two of the three majors. His victory was not surprising, but the fact that he showed up was.
Photos not available
THE NINTH LEFTY OLYMPICS OF GOLF