| The Month in Review |
| A monthly feature recapping all Lefty Golfers Association events |
| August 2003 |
AUGUST 2, 2003 - BELLEVUE - WOODLANDS COURSE
HALE E. NORMAN
P.P. HORNSBY
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
P.P. HORNSBY
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
45-47--- 92
51-46--- 97
46-53--- 99
51-46--- 97
46-53--- 99
A scheduled field of four turned into three once again (Chris The 9-Iron Kid may have acquired a new nickname, Mr. Last Minute
Cancellation) as the LGA entered the critical month of August. Continuing his season of domination, Hale Erwin Norman rose to
the top yet again with a solid 92, refusing to make worse than double-bogey until the very end, for his eleventh victory of 2003. It
was one of Hale's tougher challenges of late. Runner-up P.P. Hornsby, returning to double-digits after a bit of a funk, and after a
front-nine 51 which featured an atrocious 24 putts, made a charge on the back nine, including a near hole-in-one on 14 which
wound up as a birdie, his 6th of the campaign. Had he not finished the day with 40 putts in total, who knows how this one would
have ended? Finishing last and in the process solidifying lefty domination for the day was Fred Cupholders. With a front-nine 46,
Fred was only one shot back at the turn, but was able to score only three bogeys and nothing else coming in. Nevertheless, it
was Cupholders' third straight round under 100. With only three weeks to the Lefty Masters, Norman has emerged as the heavy
favourite to reclaim the coveted Yellow Jacket from two-time defending champion Dr. Mario Blondin. The doctor seems to have
lost interest in the game of late. Currently in his biannual mid-season disappearance, he may not have enough time upon his
return to regain his championship form for August 24th.
Cancellation) as the LGA entered the critical month of August. Continuing his season of domination, Hale Erwin Norman rose to
the top yet again with a solid 92, refusing to make worse than double-bogey until the very end, for his eleventh victory of 2003. It
was one of Hale's tougher challenges of late. Runner-up P.P. Hornsby, returning to double-digits after a bit of a funk, and after a
front-nine 51 which featured an atrocious 24 putts, made a charge on the back nine, including a near hole-in-one on 14 which
wound up as a birdie, his 6th of the campaign. Had he not finished the day with 40 putts in total, who knows how this one would
have ended? Finishing last and in the process solidifying lefty domination for the day was Fred Cupholders. With a front-nine 46,
Fred was only one shot back at the turn, but was able to score only three bogeys and nothing else coming in. Nevertheless, it
was Cupholders' third straight round under 100. With only three weeks to the Lefty Masters, Norman has emerged as the heavy
favourite to reclaim the coveted Yellow Jacket from two-time defending champion Dr. Mario Blondin. The doctor seems to have
lost interest in the game of late. Currently in his biannual mid-season disappearance, he may not have enough time upon his
return to regain his championship form for August 24th.
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AUGUST 9, 2003 - TERREBONNE - TERREBONNE COURSE
P.P. HORNSBY
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
48-48--- 96
52-50--- 102
55-50--- 105
52-50--- 102
55-50--- 105
Things did not look promising for the hopes of lefthanders worldwide as the LGA headed to Terrebonne for this Saturday event,
as 'lefty pride' had its full weight on the shoulders of one P.P. Hornsby, that well-proven veteran long-time loser. But Hornsby
carried the day for a change, showing strong scrambling abilities throughout as he ran away with a six-shot victory over
nemeses Costa Doinbiznis and Fred Cupholders, his second victory of the season. Highlighting P.P.'s round was his seventh
birdie of the year on the par-5 7th from the fringe to take the lead permanently, and a spectacular par over lots of water on 18 to
seal the fate of his opponents. Hanging on for second spot was the aforesaid Doinbiznis. Although failing to break 100 once
again, Costa's 102 has moved him back into second overall rank in the LGA, surpassing the scoring average of Dr. Mario
Blondin by a mere 0.06 shots. Playing at the site of his first ever LGA win in 2001, Doinbiznis hoped that the results of that day
would be repeated, but his crap-based play prevented that from happening. Finishing last was Fred Cupholders, who's day was
effectively ruined by a bad stretch of golf from holes 6 through 9. Fred had a three-shot lead through five before scoring
consecutive quadruple bogeys. It was the twelfth consecutive victory by a lefty, a streak that many hope will carry through August
24th, when Dr. Mario Blondin defends for the coveted Yellow Jacket at the Lefty Masters, the winner of which, as we all now
know, will go into the 'anals' of history as one of the great athletes of the Modern Era.
as 'lefty pride' had its full weight on the shoulders of one P.P. Hornsby, that well-proven veteran long-time loser. But Hornsby
carried the day for a change, showing strong scrambling abilities throughout as he ran away with a six-shot victory over
nemeses Costa Doinbiznis and Fred Cupholders, his second victory of the season. Highlighting P.P.'s round was his seventh
birdie of the year on the par-5 7th from the fringe to take the lead permanently, and a spectacular par over lots of water on 18 to
seal the fate of his opponents. Hanging on for second spot was the aforesaid Doinbiznis. Although failing to break 100 once
again, Costa's 102 has moved him back into second overall rank in the LGA, surpassing the scoring average of Dr. Mario
Blondin by a mere 0.06 shots. Playing at the site of his first ever LGA win in 2001, Doinbiznis hoped that the results of that day
would be repeated, but his crap-based play prevented that from happening. Finishing last was Fred Cupholders, who's day was
effectively ruined by a bad stretch of golf from holes 6 through 9. Fred had a three-shot lead through five before scoring
consecutive quadruple bogeys. It was the twelfth consecutive victory by a lefty, a streak that many hope will carry through August
24th, when Dr. Mario Blondin defends for the coveted Yellow Jacket at the Lefty Masters, the winner of which, as we all now
know, will go into the 'anals' of history as one of the great athletes of the Modern Era.
AUGUST 17, 2003 - BELLEVUE - BELLEVUE COURSE
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
*MIKE GONZALEZ
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
HALE E. NORMAN
P.P. HORNSBY
*CAT WOMAN
*MIKE GONZALEZ
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
HALE E. NORMAN
P.P. HORNSBY
*CAT WOMAN
50-44--- 94
52-45--- 97
45-56--- 101
57-48--- 105
54-52--- 106
113-76- 189
52-45--- 97
45-56--- 101
57-48--- 105
54-52--- 106
113-76- 189
An originally scheduled field of eight was once again reduced to six during the final moments before tee time, as LGA bad boy
Dr. Mario Blondin decided anew that his resurgent late night medical practice should take precedence over golf. Apparently, his
patient this time was another legendary lefty, Chris The 9-Iron Kid. The show did go on, however, with Fred Cupholders
overcoming a five-shot deficit on one hole, namely the par-5 16th, scoring birdie compared to Costa Doinbiznis' vomit-reeking
10, to take his second straight LGA event and fourth of the season. Fred's 94, which weirdly featured no pars, was his best of
2003. In fact, 'The Biz', by virtue of his double-digit 16th, (and let's not forget his 40 putts, a big number for Costa this season)
ceded second-place to surprise runner-up finisher and member of the 'rotating circle of extras', 2002 Lefty Olympic participant
Mike Gonzalez. Gonzalez fired a back-nine 45 for his best ever nine in LGA play, a nine which included a beer hole par on 17.
Doinbiznis would finish third in spite of his front nine 45. The round would prove historic as righthanders finished 1-2-3 for the
first time in LGA history. Top lefty was Hale Erwin Norman, taking fourth spot, his worst placing of the season. Norman stunk out
the joint going out with a bogey-free 57, and found himself 12 back at the turn, a spread insurmountable even for perennial
champion Norman. Taking fifth spot was P.P. Hornsby, with a disappointing 106. Hornsby hit his tee shot on one about 20
yards. At the time, P.P. did not realize that would be one of his finer drives on this day. If he didn't hit good recovery shots, who
knows how high his score could have gone? We could probably safely say that he would not have scored as high as the other
member of the rotating circle attending the event, Cat Woman. You may recall her arrival last season from a distant planet (on
which golf does not exist). In her second career LGA event, she broke all records with a front nine 113 (!!!), with the exception of
the mark for most shots on a hole, a massive 21 held by P.P. Hornsby (Cat did score a 20 on the first par five). However, her
back nine was almost within Lewinsky range (with apologies to Pietro). She came in breaking 200, and more amazingly, she
completed the feat in less than 5 hours. With two straight victories, Cupholders has emerged as one of the favourites to win next
week's Lefty Masters, an accomplishment which should he achieve, would make him the first northpaw in LGA history to win a
major tournament. You can bet Norman, Blondin and the other lefties will have a say in the matter.
Dr. Mario Blondin decided anew that his resurgent late night medical practice should take precedence over golf. Apparently, his
patient this time was another legendary lefty, Chris The 9-Iron Kid. The show did go on, however, with Fred Cupholders
overcoming a five-shot deficit on one hole, namely the par-5 16th, scoring birdie compared to Costa Doinbiznis' vomit-reeking
10, to take his second straight LGA event and fourth of the season. Fred's 94, which weirdly featured no pars, was his best of
2003. In fact, 'The Biz', by virtue of his double-digit 16th, (and let's not forget his 40 putts, a big number for Costa this season)
ceded second-place to surprise runner-up finisher and member of the 'rotating circle of extras', 2002 Lefty Olympic participant
Mike Gonzalez. Gonzalez fired a back-nine 45 for his best ever nine in LGA play, a nine which included a beer hole par on 17.
Doinbiznis would finish third in spite of his front nine 45. The round would prove historic as righthanders finished 1-2-3 for the
first time in LGA history. Top lefty was Hale Erwin Norman, taking fourth spot, his worst placing of the season. Norman stunk out
the joint going out with a bogey-free 57, and found himself 12 back at the turn, a spread insurmountable even for perennial
champion Norman. Taking fifth spot was P.P. Hornsby, with a disappointing 106. Hornsby hit his tee shot on one about 20
yards. At the time, P.P. did not realize that would be one of his finer drives on this day. If he didn't hit good recovery shots, who
knows how high his score could have gone? We could probably safely say that he would not have scored as high as the other
member of the rotating circle attending the event, Cat Woman. You may recall her arrival last season from a distant planet (on
which golf does not exist). In her second career LGA event, she broke all records with a front nine 113 (!!!), with the exception of
the mark for most shots on a hole, a massive 21 held by P.P. Hornsby (Cat did score a 20 on the first par five). However, her
back nine was almost within Lewinsky range (with apologies to Pietro). She came in breaking 200, and more amazingly, she
completed the feat in less than 5 hours. With two straight victories, Cupholders has emerged as one of the favourites to win next
week's Lefty Masters, an accomplishment which should he achieve, would make him the first northpaw in LGA history to win a
major tournament. You can bet Norman, Blondin and the other lefties will have a say in the matter.
AUGUST 14, 2003 - CAUGHNAWAGA
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
P.P. HORNSBY
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
P.P. HORNSBY
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
45-52--- 97
57-49--- 106
52-56--- 108
57-49--- 106
52-56--- 108
Caughnawaga was the venue on this hot and sunny afternoon for a rare LGA weekday prime-time made-for-television event. As
in the past, of course, and it seems whenever LGA events are scheduled for prime-time television, no cameramen attended nor
were cameras anywhere to be found. Lacking witnesses, P.P. Hornsby and Chris The 9-Iron Kid entered the event carrying lefty
pride on their shoulders anyway, especially with a twelve-event southpaw winning streak on the line, but thirteen-in-a-row was
not to be as Fred Cupholders returned to the winners' circle with an easy 9 shot win over Hornsby for his third tournament victory
of 2003, one more than both of his opponents on this day. Cupholders scored four pars on the front nine to build a seven shot
cushion, setting up the runaway win despite a boring back nine 52. Coming off a rare victory only five days earlier, P.P. Hornsby
was not able to score better than a seven during his first five holes, contributing to the insurmountable deficit he faced once he
got his swing back in order. Hornsby scored a decent 49 coming in to bypass Chris The 9-Iron Kid for runner-up honours and
avoiding the cellar for a fourth-straight event, an accomplishment for the verteran lefty loser. Completing the tiny field of three was
the twice aforementioned Chris The 9-Iron Kid, whose 108 was aided by two double-digit holes, both 10's on holes 5 and 12.
9-Iron had second-place easily in his possession until late in the round, when he squandered a six-stroke advantage over
Hornsby. With the lefty winning streak over at 12 and the participating lefties claiming direct responsibility, Hornsby and 9-Iron
Kid attempted to drown their sorrows by getting shitfaced drunk immediately following the event.
in the past, of course, and it seems whenever LGA events are scheduled for prime-time television, no cameramen attended nor
were cameras anywhere to be found. Lacking witnesses, P.P. Hornsby and Chris The 9-Iron Kid entered the event carrying lefty
pride on their shoulders anyway, especially with a twelve-event southpaw winning streak on the line, but thirteen-in-a-row was
not to be as Fred Cupholders returned to the winners' circle with an easy 9 shot win over Hornsby for his third tournament victory
of 2003, one more than both of his opponents on this day. Cupholders scored four pars on the front nine to build a seven shot
cushion, setting up the runaway win despite a boring back nine 52. Coming off a rare victory only five days earlier, P.P. Hornsby
was not able to score better than a seven during his first five holes, contributing to the insurmountable deficit he faced once he
got his swing back in order. Hornsby scored a decent 49 coming in to bypass Chris The 9-Iron Kid for runner-up honours and
avoiding the cellar for a fourth-straight event, an accomplishment for the verteran lefty loser. Completing the tiny field of three was
the twice aforementioned Chris The 9-Iron Kid, whose 108 was aided by two double-digit holes, both 10's on holes 5 and 12.
9-Iron had second-place easily in his possession until late in the round, when he squandered a six-stroke advantage over
Hornsby. With the lefty winning streak over at 12 and the participating lefties claiming direct responsibility, Hornsby and 9-Iron
Kid attempted to drown their sorrows by getting shitfaced drunk immediately following the event.
AUGUST 24, 2003 - CAUGHNAWAGA
THE FOURTH LEFTY MASTERS
THE FOURTH LEFTY MASTERS
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
HALE E. NORMAN
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
P.P. HORNSBY
*PIETRO LEWINKSY
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
HALE E. NORMAN
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
P.P. HORNSBY
*PIETRO LEWINKSY
47-50--- 97
47-52--- 99
46-54--- 100
51-51--- 102
51-54--- 105
48-58--- 106
52-64--- 116
47-52--- 99
46-54--- 100
51-51--- 102
51-54--- 105
48-58--- 106
52-64--- 116
The Fourth Annual Lefty Masters of Golf, one of the premier events on the LGA Tour, saw its biggest field ever vie for the coveted
Yellow Jacket. The 2003 edition was the closest ever, but the excitement turned to bitterness for lefties around the world as the
tournament wound up, with Fred Cupholders, upstart rightie and silver medalist at last year's Lefty Olympics of Golf, becoming
the first righthander ever to win a Lefty Golfers Association major tournament with a steady 97 at a fast and windy Cog. With only
three shots separating the entire field (including Lewinsky!) through seven, Cupholders held it together as one by one his
opponents failed one way or another. Fred's long birdie on 5 was his second in as many games, and his win was his third
straight, a personal record, but strangely, Cupholders managed to win for a second consecutive time without scoring any pars,
constituting further proof that winning in the LGA is not all that difficult. As he drained the winning putt on 18, Cupholders showed
restraint, refraining from dancing the 'Freddie Dance' and simply basked in the polite applause. Taking second place honours in
his first ever Masters appearance was Chris The 9-Iron Kid. Chris was the only other player to break 100, in spite of his 40 putts.
9-Iron only had two triple bogeys for the day, but having lost by a mere two strokes, they proved costly. Finishing third was Hale
Erwin Norman, who entered the event as the only hopeful to win the Lefty Slam on the strength of his victory at the inaugural Lefty
Classic on June 24th, faded badly after a front nine 46, finding himself out of contention by the finishing holes. Norman also
failed to make a par in the difficult conditions, ending up in triple digits for a second week in a row. Next on the order of merit was
two-time defending champion Dr. Mario Blondin. In his first appearance of the month of August, and with his swing creaking with
rust, Mario still managed to finish only five shots back, but will have to learn to live without the Jacket smiling at him from his
closet as it had over the past two calendar years. Fifth place went to Costa Doinbiznis, also entering the tournament with high
hopes of donning the 'Canary Coat'. As usual, 'The Biz' would disappoint, even though he needed only 31 putts to negotiate the
impossible greens. It turned out to be one of his finest performances ever at the Lefty Masters anyway. One shot behind Costa
was P.P. Hornsby, who unlike 'The Biz' had his worst ever Masters round. Playing the front nine in 48, Hornsby fell out of
contention after a 9 on the par-4 13th. The day remained interesting for Hornsby, however, as he spent much of the second half
fighting off the surprise of the day, and perhaps of the year, Pietro Lewinsky. Lewinsky went out in only 52 shots, his career best
nine, which included an incredible 5 bogeys in a row, a stretch which nearly doubled Pietro's bogey total for the season.
Lewinsky also six-putted the first hole, making his 52 all the more incredible. Pietro did return to the same old on the back nine,
but came in with a career best round. At the Yellow Jacket ceremony, Cupholders broke the LGA record for the longest smile, and
ear-to-ear job that lasted until well after he left the course. As he accepted congratulations from fellow members and strangers,
the frowns on the lefty faces slowly disappeared. Cynics no doubt attribute their happiness to the beer and not the celebration of
first righthanded win in 12 major tournaments, dating back to the first Lefty Olympics in 1996.
Yellow Jacket. The 2003 edition was the closest ever, but the excitement turned to bitterness for lefties around the world as the
tournament wound up, with Fred Cupholders, upstart rightie and silver medalist at last year's Lefty Olympics of Golf, becoming
the first righthander ever to win a Lefty Golfers Association major tournament with a steady 97 at a fast and windy Cog. With only
three shots separating the entire field (including Lewinsky!) through seven, Cupholders held it together as one by one his
opponents failed one way or another. Fred's long birdie on 5 was his second in as many games, and his win was his third
straight, a personal record, but strangely, Cupholders managed to win for a second consecutive time without scoring any pars,
constituting further proof that winning in the LGA is not all that difficult. As he drained the winning putt on 18, Cupholders showed
restraint, refraining from dancing the 'Freddie Dance' and simply basked in the polite applause. Taking second place honours in
his first ever Masters appearance was Chris The 9-Iron Kid. Chris was the only other player to break 100, in spite of his 40 putts.
9-Iron only had two triple bogeys for the day, but having lost by a mere two strokes, they proved costly. Finishing third was Hale
Erwin Norman, who entered the event as the only hopeful to win the Lefty Slam on the strength of his victory at the inaugural Lefty
Classic on June 24th, faded badly after a front nine 46, finding himself out of contention by the finishing holes. Norman also
failed to make a par in the difficult conditions, ending up in triple digits for a second week in a row. Next on the order of merit was
two-time defending champion Dr. Mario Blondin. In his first appearance of the month of August, and with his swing creaking with
rust, Mario still managed to finish only five shots back, but will have to learn to live without the Jacket smiling at him from his
closet as it had over the past two calendar years. Fifth place went to Costa Doinbiznis, also entering the tournament with high
hopes of donning the 'Canary Coat'. As usual, 'The Biz' would disappoint, even though he needed only 31 putts to negotiate the
impossible greens. It turned out to be one of his finest performances ever at the Lefty Masters anyway. One shot behind Costa
was P.P. Hornsby, who unlike 'The Biz' had his worst ever Masters round. Playing the front nine in 48, Hornsby fell out of
contention after a 9 on the par-4 13th. The day remained interesting for Hornsby, however, as he spent much of the second half
fighting off the surprise of the day, and perhaps of the year, Pietro Lewinsky. Lewinsky went out in only 52 shots, his career best
nine, which included an incredible 5 bogeys in a row, a stretch which nearly doubled Pietro's bogey total for the season.
Lewinsky also six-putted the first hole, making his 52 all the more incredible. Pietro did return to the same old on the back nine,
but came in with a career best round. At the Yellow Jacket ceremony, Cupholders broke the LGA record for the longest smile, and
ear-to-ear job that lasted until well after he left the course. As he accepted congratulations from fellow members and strangers,
the frowns on the lefty faces slowly disappeared. Cynics no doubt attribute their happiness to the beer and not the celebration of
first righthanded win in 12 major tournaments, dating back to the first Lefty Olympics in 1996.
AUGUST 26, 2003 - BEAUCHATEAU
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
P.P. HORNSBY
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
P.P. HORNSBY
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
47-53--- 100
52-51--- 103
53-59--- 112
56-61--- 117
52-51--- 103
53-59--- 112
56-61--- 117
The LGA made its first visit to Beauchateau in several seasons for a rare Tuesday event. On greens which were unfortunately in
horrible condition, Costa Doinbiznis carded only 28 putts, an amazing performance to take his third victory of the season, a three
shot win over P.P. Hornsby. It was the fourth straight victory by a righthander, a streak which immediately followed the
twelve-straight by lefties. It was the first time a triple-digit score was good enough for a win since June 20th, when Cupholders
won at Lafleur with a 106 (hurl!!). Costa had a sub-100 round firmly in his sights, until consecutive triple-bogeys on 16 and 17.
'The Biz' would finish dead on the century mark. Runner-up Hornsby, the only competition for Doinbiznis on this day, failed to
score par, and managed second-place even though he putted 38 times. After ceding a five shot lead through nine, Hornsby got it
to within two, when he promptly scored a magot-producing nine on the par-4 15th, giving away the tournament. Sunday's
Masters champion Fred Cupholders, obviously tired from the Monday interviews after becoming the first rightie to win an LGA
major, showed no signs of the talent he displayed only two days earlier. His 112 was one of his crappiest scores of the season,
particularly his 59 coming in. And speaking of crappy scores, Chris The 9-Iron Kid, top lefty at Sundays Masters, and shockingly
playing in his second-straight LGA event, appeared to injure himself after playing driver from a very bad lie (a hole on the ladies'
tee box). He would finish with 117 after a putrid back nine 61. 9-Iron had five holes of quadruple-bogey or worse for the day,
explaining his smelly result. With righthanders flying high in the LGA these days, fans of lefties anticipate with loathing the next
Gus Loads commentary, a column sure to be loaded with boasting and trash talk. For those unfamiliar with Gus Loads, he is
the righthanded lobbyist and writer of the monthly 'Northpaw' column in the defunct Hackers' Review, the LGA newsletter
replaced by this website.
horrible condition, Costa Doinbiznis carded only 28 putts, an amazing performance to take his third victory of the season, a three
shot win over P.P. Hornsby. It was the fourth straight victory by a righthander, a streak which immediately followed the
twelve-straight by lefties. It was the first time a triple-digit score was good enough for a win since June 20th, when Cupholders
won at Lafleur with a 106 (hurl!!). Costa had a sub-100 round firmly in his sights, until consecutive triple-bogeys on 16 and 17.
'The Biz' would finish dead on the century mark. Runner-up Hornsby, the only competition for Doinbiznis on this day, failed to
score par, and managed second-place even though he putted 38 times. After ceding a five shot lead through nine, Hornsby got it
to within two, when he promptly scored a magot-producing nine on the par-4 15th, giving away the tournament. Sunday's
Masters champion Fred Cupholders, obviously tired from the Monday interviews after becoming the first rightie to win an LGA
major, showed no signs of the talent he displayed only two days earlier. His 112 was one of his crappiest scores of the season,
particularly his 59 coming in. And speaking of crappy scores, Chris The 9-Iron Kid, top lefty at Sundays Masters, and shockingly
playing in his second-straight LGA event, appeared to injure himself after playing driver from a very bad lie (a hole on the ladies'
tee box). He would finish with 117 after a putrid back nine 61. 9-Iron had five holes of quadruple-bogey or worse for the day,
explaining his smelly result. With righthanders flying high in the LGA these days, fans of lefties anticipate with loathing the next
Gus Loads commentary, a column sure to be loaded with boasting and trash talk. For those unfamiliar with Gus Loads, he is
the righthanded lobbyist and writer of the monthly 'Northpaw' column in the defunct Hackers' Review, the LGA newsletter
replaced by this website.
AUGUST 30, 2003 - LAFLEUR
HALE E. NORMAN
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
P.P. HORNSBY
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
P.P. HORNSBY
51-43--- 94
49-52--- 101
50-56--- 106
49-52--- 101
50-56--- 106
The LGA kicked off the long Labour Day weekend with an official event at narrow Lafleur. Hale Erwin Norman finally ended the
righthanders' winning streak at four, scoring an impressive eight pars on the day and an equally impressive back nine 43 to rally
from last place at the turn for an easy seven shot win over Masters champion Fred Cupholders. Things did not look good for
Norman early on, as his vomit-reeking nine on the par-4 5th hole had him six strokes back of P.P. Hornsby at the time, but the
talented Norman prevailed, mainly on the strength of his 31 putts. Runner-up Cupholders, despite a 49 going out, failed to break
100 for a second straight event, his last time being his shocking Yellow Jacket victory on August 24th. His 101 was still five
shots better than P.P. Hornsby. Speaking of P.P. (the golfer, not the bathroom activity), even four pars for the day, including a
chip-in on three, was not enough for Hornsby to break 100. His fourth 106 score in his last five was aided by his
magot-producing 9 on the difficult par-4 6th, and especially by his heartbreaking 10 on the 13th hole, a performance which
reeked like a pile of feces sitting in the sun, and included two out-of-bounds penalties as well as a dip into the water. Once
victory was assured, Norman completed the celebration by winning the beer hole 17th, and thus adding further injury to his
hapless opposition. The only spoiler for LGA fans (presuming, of course, they all cheer for lefties), was Cupholders' defeat of
Hornsby, but then again, what else is new?
righthanders' winning streak at four, scoring an impressive eight pars on the day and an equally impressive back nine 43 to rally
from last place at the turn for an easy seven shot win over Masters champion Fred Cupholders. Things did not look good for
Norman early on, as his vomit-reeking nine on the par-4 5th hole had him six strokes back of P.P. Hornsby at the time, but the
talented Norman prevailed, mainly on the strength of his 31 putts. Runner-up Cupholders, despite a 49 going out, failed to break
100 for a second straight event, his last time being his shocking Yellow Jacket victory on August 24th. His 101 was still five
shots better than P.P. Hornsby. Speaking of P.P. (the golfer, not the bathroom activity), even four pars for the day, including a
chip-in on three, was not enough for Hornsby to break 100. His fourth 106 score in his last five was aided by his
magot-producing 9 on the difficult par-4 6th, and especially by his heartbreaking 10 on the 13th hole, a performance which
reeked like a pile of feces sitting in the sun, and included two out-of-bounds penalties as well as a dip into the water. Once
victory was assured, Norman completed the celebration by winning the beer hole 17th, and thus adding further injury to his
hapless opposition. The only spoiler for LGA fans (presuming, of course, they all cheer for lefties), was Cupholders' defeat of
Hornsby, but then again, what else is new?