| The Month in Review |
| A monthly feature recapping all Lefty Golfers Association events |
| July 2005 |
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JULY 1, 2005 - RIVIERA
THE LEFTY CLASSIC
THE LEFTY CLASSIC
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
PAUL HORNSBY III
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
PAUL HORNSBY III
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
47-49--- 96
46-56--- 102
50-54--- 104
55-52--- 107
49-60--- 109
63-60--- 123
46-56--- 102
50-54--- 104
55-52--- 107
49-60--- 109
63-60--- 123
For the first time in its short history, The Lefty Classic, the LGA's first major of each and every golf season, was held at Le
Riviera, on a day which saw extreme heat and humidity, as well as several thunderstorms, which, it turns out, would affect the
outcome. Righthander Costa Doinbiznis finally shook the monkey off his back, winning his first career major by six shots over
runner-up Paul Hornsby III, but it wasn't as easy as that. Hornsby had a four shot lead through eight holes, thanks in great part
to a near-ace birdie on 7, but being famous for his fear of lightning, Hornsby would panic as the storms began, blowing his
lead and opening the door for 'The Biz'. To his credit, Costa took advantage, scoring back to back pars to close out the front
nine, and his back nine 49 would be more than good enough in very difficult conditions. Hornsby has now failed to win a major
in 17 tries. Finishing third was defending champion Dr. Mario Blondin, who has finally started to show some improvement after
a very disappointing month of June, when he sucked. Fourth place honours fell to Chris The 9-Iron Kid, participating in only his
third event of the season. His mediocre 107 was highlighted by a long birdie on the par-3 4th hole, his first birdie in nearly two
seasons. Next in order of merit was Fred Cupholders, whose 109 wasn't nearly as bad as the number indicates. Cupholders
scored a 14 on the final hole in pouring rain, having given up on catching Doinbiznis. His discouragement ended up costing
him as many as four spots on the leaderboard. Rounding out the field, as usual, was Pietro Lewinsky. Although he finished in
last place, his was a moral victory of sorts. Pietro played an entire 18 holes without scoring in double-digits, something he
rarely achieves. Missing his first major was Hale Erwin Norman, who remains on the disabled list until further notice. With the
victory, Costa becomes only the second righthander to take a major tournament in the LGA. The official all-time tally now shows
the lefties with 15 wins versus the aforesaid two for the northpaws.
Riviera, on a day which saw extreme heat and humidity, as well as several thunderstorms, which, it turns out, would affect the
outcome. Righthander Costa Doinbiznis finally shook the monkey off his back, winning his first career major by six shots over
runner-up Paul Hornsby III, but it wasn't as easy as that. Hornsby had a four shot lead through eight holes, thanks in great part
to a near-ace birdie on 7, but being famous for his fear of lightning, Hornsby would panic as the storms began, blowing his
lead and opening the door for 'The Biz'. To his credit, Costa took advantage, scoring back to back pars to close out the front
nine, and his back nine 49 would be more than good enough in very difficult conditions. Hornsby has now failed to win a major
in 17 tries. Finishing third was defending champion Dr. Mario Blondin, who has finally started to show some improvement after
a very disappointing month of June, when he sucked. Fourth place honours fell to Chris The 9-Iron Kid, participating in only his
third event of the season. His mediocre 107 was highlighted by a long birdie on the par-3 4th hole, his first birdie in nearly two
seasons. Next in order of merit was Fred Cupholders, whose 109 wasn't nearly as bad as the number indicates. Cupholders
scored a 14 on the final hole in pouring rain, having given up on catching Doinbiznis. His discouragement ended up costing
him as many as four spots on the leaderboard. Rounding out the field, as usual, was Pietro Lewinsky. Although he finished in
last place, his was a moral victory of sorts. Pietro played an entire 18 holes without scoring in double-digits, something he
rarely achieves. Missing his first major was Hale Erwin Norman, who remains on the disabled list until further notice. With the
victory, Costa becomes only the second righthander to take a major tournament in the LGA. The official all-time tally now shows
the lefties with 15 wins versus the aforesaid two for the northpaws.
Photos not available
JULY 3, 2005 - CAUGHNAWAGA
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
PAUL HORNSBY III
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
PAUL HORNSBY III
44-43--- 87
46-49--- 95
47-51--- 98
46-49--- 95
47-51--- 98
With the long Canada Day weekend winding to a close, a trip to the Cog was in order for the LGA, with only the minimum
allowable field of three showing up. Dr. Mario Blondin, after a terrible start to the 2005 season, saw his game suddenly emerge
from the shadows, firing a sizzling 87, including a very impressive 43 coming in. The doctor seemingly could not miss a putt,
needing only 28 for the day, great by LGA standards, although not necessarily great by golfing standards. Blondin's 87 was the
low round in the LGA this year by a considerable margin. Finishing eight shots back in second place was Lefty Classic
champion Costa Doinbiznis. 'The Biz' scored three straight pars on the front nine, but could not keep pace with Mario despite
another double-digit round. Costa's 8 on the par-4 11th effectively put him out of contention, if there is such a thing in the Lefty
Golfers Association. Entering the clubhouse in last place once again was Paul Hornsby III. 'Da Turd' finished well back in spite
of his beginning the round with a birdie for only the second time in his long and less-than-illustrious career. In fact, in addition to
his birdie, Hornsby had four pars on the front nine, yet he still shot 47 (hurl!!!). At least he broke 100 for the day. Miserably, it was
the first time all season that all participants in an 'official' event broke 100, indicating once again just how crappy the LGA is.
allowable field of three showing up. Dr. Mario Blondin, after a terrible start to the 2005 season, saw his game suddenly emerge
from the shadows, firing a sizzling 87, including a very impressive 43 coming in. The doctor seemingly could not miss a putt,
needing only 28 for the day, great by LGA standards, although not necessarily great by golfing standards. Blondin's 87 was the
low round in the LGA this year by a considerable margin. Finishing eight shots back in second place was Lefty Classic
champion Costa Doinbiznis. 'The Biz' scored three straight pars on the front nine, but could not keep pace with Mario despite
another double-digit round. Costa's 8 on the par-4 11th effectively put him out of contention, if there is such a thing in the Lefty
Golfers Association. Entering the clubhouse in last place once again was Paul Hornsby III. 'Da Turd' finished well back in spite
of his beginning the round with a birdie for only the second time in his long and less-than-illustrious career. In fact, in addition to
his birdie, Hornsby had four pars on the front nine, yet he still shot 47 (hurl!!!). At least he broke 100 for the day. Miserably, it was
the first time all season that all participants in an 'official' event broke 100, indicating once again just how crappy the LGA is.
Photos not available
JULY 10, 2005 - CAUGHNAWAGA
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
PAUL HORNSBY III
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
PAUL HORNSBY III
49-49--- 98
51-50--- 101
51-55--- 106
56-53--- 109
51-50--- 101
51-55--- 106
56-53--- 109
The LGA returned to Caughnawaga for a second straight Sunday, one that provided ever more evidence of how much the
Association reeks. Dr. Mario Blondin, visibly affected after another long night administering anaesthetics (possibly to himself),
was somehow capable of breaking 100 for his second time in as many tries. That coupled with the low quality play of his
opponents vaulted the doctor to his third tournament victory of 2005, by three shots over top righthander Costa Doinbiznis. The
event would probably have been a closer contest had 'The Biz' not tried to cut the dogleg on the par-5 5th hole (again) resulting
in the inevitable 10. Grabbing third spot was lefty veteran Chris The 9-Iron Kid, who was also in contention for the first 10 holes,
until he plopped his tee shot on 11 into the lake behind the 10th green. "That lake isn't in play for anybody", Costa Doinbiznis
remarked after the fateful drive. As is common in the LGA, Doinbiznis' comments were proven wrong. Yes, just when you
thought you've seen it all... Yet again, Paul Hornsby III graced the cellar. 'Da Turd' had difficulties from the get-go, taking 17
shots to complete the first two holes, and only improved on that mediocre pace slightly over the duration of the round. Everyone
was impressed with Dr. Blondin's performance considering the circumstances, causing Hornsby to wonder out loud, "Is he
that good or are we that bad?" The answer, I believe, is obvious.
Association reeks. Dr. Mario Blondin, visibly affected after another long night administering anaesthetics (possibly to himself),
was somehow capable of breaking 100 for his second time in as many tries. That coupled with the low quality play of his
opponents vaulted the doctor to his third tournament victory of 2005, by three shots over top righthander Costa Doinbiznis. The
event would probably have been a closer contest had 'The Biz' not tried to cut the dogleg on the par-5 5th hole (again) resulting
in the inevitable 10. Grabbing third spot was lefty veteran Chris The 9-Iron Kid, who was also in contention for the first 10 holes,
until he plopped his tee shot on 11 into the lake behind the 10th green. "That lake isn't in play for anybody", Costa Doinbiznis
remarked after the fateful drive. As is common in the LGA, Doinbiznis' comments were proven wrong. Yes, just when you
thought you've seen it all... Yet again, Paul Hornsby III graced the cellar. 'Da Turd' had difficulties from the get-go, taking 17
shots to complete the first two holes, and only improved on that mediocre pace slightly over the duration of the round. Everyone
was impressed with Dr. Blondin's performance considering the circumstances, causing Hornsby to wonder out loud, "Is he
that good or are we that bad?" The answer, I believe, is obvious.
Photos not available
JULY 23, 2005 - BELLEVUE (BELLEVUE COURSE)
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
PAUL HORNSBY III
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
PAUL HORNSBY III
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
48-50--- 98
54-53--- 107
53-56--- 109
53-64--- 117
54-53--- 107
53-56--- 109
53-64--- 117
The LGA kicked off a scheduled doubleheader weekend with an official event at Bellevue. Taking advantage of his first official
appearance in three weeks, righthander Fred Cupholders would turn out to be the best in a field that certainly underperformed
in the mid-summer conditions, running away from the field for a nine shot victory over runner-up and top lefty Paul Hornsby III.
Needless to say, Cupholders was the only player to score in double-digits on this day. For Hornsby, it was his 119th
consecutive appearance in the LGA, dating back to June 7, 2002, and man, has he played some vomit inducing golf over that
period! Dr. Mario Blondin had to settle for third place, ballooning back into the hundreds with a 109. The doctor was in
contention on the ninth tee when he would suddenly (and inexplicably) fire two tee shots over his shoulders and deep into the
woods, He would walk away from the ninth green with a 12 and no chance for victory. Completing the field was Chris The 9-Iron
Kid, making his third appearance of the month, After a front nine 53, 9-Iron appeared injured coming in, posting a back nine 64
which featured a 10 and a 12 on the two par fives. After the event, Dr. Blondin expressed dismay with LGA officials. It had
something to do with him being pencilled in to play at Bellevue on Saturday as opposed to the scheduled Sunday round at the
LGA's home course, Caughnawaga, but the LGA, as always, simply turned a deaf ear.
appearance in three weeks, righthander Fred Cupholders would turn out to be the best in a field that certainly underperformed
in the mid-summer conditions, running away from the field for a nine shot victory over runner-up and top lefty Paul Hornsby III.
Needless to say, Cupholders was the only player to score in double-digits on this day. For Hornsby, it was his 119th
consecutive appearance in the LGA, dating back to June 7, 2002, and man, has he played some vomit inducing golf over that
period! Dr. Mario Blondin had to settle for third place, ballooning back into the hundreds with a 109. The doctor was in
contention on the ninth tee when he would suddenly (and inexplicably) fire two tee shots over his shoulders and deep into the
woods, He would walk away from the ninth green with a 12 and no chance for victory. Completing the field was Chris The 9-Iron
Kid, making his third appearance of the month, After a front nine 53, 9-Iron appeared injured coming in, posting a back nine 64
which featured a 10 and a 12 on the two par fives. After the event, Dr. Blondin expressed dismay with LGA officials. It had
something to do with him being pencilled in to play at Bellevue on Saturday as opposed to the scheduled Sunday round at the
LGA's home course, Caughnawaga, but the LGA, as always, simply turned a deaf ear.
Photos not available
JULY 24, 2005 - CAUGHNAWAGA
PAUL HORNSBY III
HALE ERWIN NORMAN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
HALE ERWIN NORMAN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
48-50--- 98
50-50--- 100
56-47--- 103
51-65--- 116
50-50--- 100
56-47--- 103
51-65--- 116
As scheduled, the LGA completed what has become a rare doubleheader weekend with yet another visit to the Cog. In what
turned out to be one of the more dramatic contests of the season, Paul Hornsby III, after squandering a six shot lead to Hale
Erwin Norman over a four hole stretch, finished with par-par, his fourth and fifth pars of the day respectively, for a two shot win
and to be the sole player in the clubhouse under the century mark. It was only Paul's second round under 100 this season. 'Da
Turd' is now the proud owner of 2.5 LGA victories in 2005. Norman's day got off to a rocky start, especially on three where he
would fire a magot infested 11 after losing two balls off the tee. Hale's 9 on the par-4 12th didn't help matters much either. Three
shots behind Norman was top righthander Costa Doinbiznis. 'The Biz' also butchered the third hole, carding a 10, but would
partially make up for it by sharing beer hole honours with Hornsby on 17. Having an interesting day in spite of his last place
finish was Pietro Lewinsky. His front nine 51 was his best ever, and his back would have been pretty good too if it weren't for a
couple of catastrophes. Heading to 13, Lewinsky was easily in second place, but would fire a vomit-reeking 13 on the par-4. He
would complete his round with an 11 on the par-5 18th, another disappointment. Still, it was his low round of the year. "One day
he'll beat somebody", Costa Doinbiznis commented about Lewinsky after the event. What Costa did not mention is that Pietro
already has, he defeated Doinbiznis and Fred Cupholders in the same event in April 2001.
turned out to be one of the more dramatic contests of the season, Paul Hornsby III, after squandering a six shot lead to Hale
Erwin Norman over a four hole stretch, finished with par-par, his fourth and fifth pars of the day respectively, for a two shot win
and to be the sole player in the clubhouse under the century mark. It was only Paul's second round under 100 this season. 'Da
Turd' is now the proud owner of 2.5 LGA victories in 2005. Norman's day got off to a rocky start, especially on three where he
would fire a magot infested 11 after losing two balls off the tee. Hale's 9 on the par-4 12th didn't help matters much either. Three
shots behind Norman was top righthander Costa Doinbiznis. 'The Biz' also butchered the third hole, carding a 10, but would
partially make up for it by sharing beer hole honours with Hornsby on 17. Having an interesting day in spite of his last place
finish was Pietro Lewinsky. His front nine 51 was his best ever, and his back would have been pretty good too if it weren't for a
couple of catastrophes. Heading to 13, Lewinsky was easily in second place, but would fire a vomit-reeking 13 on the par-4. He
would complete his round with an 11 on the par-5 18th, another disappointment. Still, it was his low round of the year. "One day
he'll beat somebody", Costa Doinbiznis commented about Lewinsky after the event. What Costa did not mention is that Pietro
already has, he defeated Doinbiznis and Fred Cupholders in the same event in April 2001.
Photos not available
JULY 31, 2005 - VERCHERES (MADELEINE COURSE)
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
HALE ERWIN NORMAN
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
PAUL HORNSBY III
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
HALE ERWIN NORMAN
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
PAUL HORNSBY III
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
50-44--- 94
45-51--- 96
53-45--- 98
55-50--- 105
52-60--- 112
62-66--- 128
45-51--- 96
53-45--- 98
55-50--- 105
52-60--- 112
62-66--- 128
More hot weather greeted our lefty heroes, among others, as the LGA made its first ever visit to Vercheres. As has been the case
all season long when more than four golfers participated, Costa Doinbiznis prevailed again, this time with a come from behind
victory over Hale Erwin Norman for his four-and-a-halfth win of the year. 'The Biz' trailed by five at the turn, but was able to
gradually chip away (get it?) at the lead with some steady play. His back nine 44 contained nothing worse than a six. For
Norman, the second place finish will take him through two straight complete months without a victory, his last win coming on
May 8th. This fact has fueled speculation once again that perhaps Hale is washed up. Third place fell to Dr. Mario Blondin, back
in double-digits after last weekend's crappy performance. Mario finished very strongly with a back nine 45. After a disappointing
day, Fred Cupholders entered the clubhouse in fourth position. Fred needed 16 shots to complete the first two holes, explaining
his result. And speaking of disappointments, Paul Hornsby III. But seriously, 'Da Turd', after beginning the day with consecutive
pars, looked confident, but then his lack of talent got in the way. His 13 on the par-4 13th would once again serve as a clinic in
how not to play golf. His 112 was still 16 shots better than the score posted by Pietro Lewinsky, who had an off day even by his
standards. Lewinsky, who has been showing definite signs of improvement lately, decided to give amelioration a holiday on this
sizzling Sunday. His back nine 66 was particularly pukey. With yet another northpaw victory, lefties are becoming worried that
their long era of dominating the LGA is rapidly coming to an end. With such talent as Hornsby, it is a wonder it didn't happen
long ago.
all season long when more than four golfers participated, Costa Doinbiznis prevailed again, this time with a come from behind
victory over Hale Erwin Norman for his four-and-a-halfth win of the year. 'The Biz' trailed by five at the turn, but was able to
gradually chip away (get it?) at the lead with some steady play. His back nine 44 contained nothing worse than a six. For
Norman, the second place finish will take him through two straight complete months without a victory, his last win coming on
May 8th. This fact has fueled speculation once again that perhaps Hale is washed up. Third place fell to Dr. Mario Blondin, back
in double-digits after last weekend's crappy performance. Mario finished very strongly with a back nine 45. After a disappointing
day, Fred Cupholders entered the clubhouse in fourth position. Fred needed 16 shots to complete the first two holes, explaining
his result. And speaking of disappointments, Paul Hornsby III. But seriously, 'Da Turd', after beginning the day with consecutive
pars, looked confident, but then his lack of talent got in the way. His 13 on the par-4 13th would once again serve as a clinic in
how not to play golf. His 112 was still 16 shots better than the score posted by Pietro Lewinsky, who had an off day even by his
standards. Lewinsky, who has been showing definite signs of improvement lately, decided to give amelioration a holiday on this
sizzling Sunday. His back nine 66 was particularly pukey. With yet another northpaw victory, lefties are becoming worried that
their long era of dominating the LGA is rapidly coming to an end. With such talent as Hornsby, it is a wonder it didn't happen
long ago.
Photos not available