| The Month in Review |
| A monthly feature recapping all Lefty Golfers Association events |
| July 2003 |
JULY 1, 2003 - LE RIVIERA
HALE E. NORMAN
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
P.P. HORNSBY
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
P.P. HORNSBY
48-51--- 99
53-52--- 105
60-48--- 108
54-56--- 110
53-52--- 105
60-48--- 108
54-56--- 110
The Lefty Golfers Association made its first trip to Le Riviera this season on this sunny Canada Day holiday. Hale Erwin
Norman, hottest player on the Tour of late, battled P.P. Hornsby and Fred Cupholders for the first seven holes, then pulled away
from the field for another easy victory, Norman's fourth straight, and this time by six shots. Hale's putter sizzled once again,
counting only 32 putts on Riviera's difficult greens, but breaking 100 wasn't easy, Norman required a bogey-par finish to
complete the feat, which is exactly what he did. Runner-up honours fell to Fred Cupholders, in spite of his failing to score a par
for the day. His 37 putt performance also left alot to be desired, the main factor in his finishing second being the even crappier
play of Costa Doinbiznis and P.P. Hornsby. Doinbiznis, after a putrid 12 on the par-5 first and another double-digit 10 on the
par-4 5th, rallied to take third spot over a fading Hornsby. He had the best back nine of the day at 48. Nevertheless it was
another ugly score for 'The Biz', who has been in a funk since prior to The Classic, when he predicted a Lefty Slam for himself for
this season. In last place yet another time was the twice mentioned Hornsby. He led through four holes, but let his patented
decision making process take charge thereafter, playing like, in his own words, 'an idiot'. I thought 'idiot' was his middle name, a
smug Hale Norman quipped at the press conference held after the event. "I was never worried.", he added.
Norman, hottest player on the Tour of late, battled P.P. Hornsby and Fred Cupholders for the first seven holes, then pulled away
from the field for another easy victory, Norman's fourth straight, and this time by six shots. Hale's putter sizzled once again,
counting only 32 putts on Riviera's difficult greens, but breaking 100 wasn't easy, Norman required a bogey-par finish to
complete the feat, which is exactly what he did. Runner-up honours fell to Fred Cupholders, in spite of his failing to score a par
for the day. His 37 putt performance also left alot to be desired, the main factor in his finishing second being the even crappier
play of Costa Doinbiznis and P.P. Hornsby. Doinbiznis, after a putrid 12 on the par-5 first and another double-digit 10 on the
par-4 5th, rallied to take third spot over a fading Hornsby. He had the best back nine of the day at 48. Nevertheless it was
another ugly score for 'The Biz', who has been in a funk since prior to The Classic, when he predicted a Lefty Slam for himself for
this season. In last place yet another time was the twice mentioned Hornsby. He led through four holes, but let his patented
decision making process take charge thereafter, playing like, in his own words, 'an idiot'. I thought 'idiot' was his middle name, a
smug Hale Norman quipped at the press conference held after the event. "I was never worried.", he added.
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JULY 6, 2003 - CAUGHNAWAGA
HALE E. NORMAN
P.P. HORNSBY
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
P.P. HORNSBY
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
47-42--- 89
51-46--- 97
55-52--- 107
51-46--- 97
55-52--- 107
During a 2003 season that has generally witnessed larger fields attending LGA events, only the minimum allowed field of three
took part in another competition at the Association's home course, as Costa Doinbiznis was once again a last minute
withdrawal. Hale Erwin Norman, taking advantage of weak competition (all takers have been considered weak by Norman
lately), continued his solid play, breaking 90 for a second time this season and pulling away for an eight-shot win over veteran
lefty loser P.P. Hornsby. Norman tied his own all-time LGA record, needing only 27 putts to complete the eighteen. His back nine
42 also set a new LGA standard. Runner-up Hornsby, after breaking 100 eleven times last season, finally got the monkey off his
back, coming in with a 97, his first double-digit score in 20 events dating back to last October. P.P. completed the feat in spite of
playing the first two holes in 16 shots. Top (and only) rightie for the day was Fred Cupholders, who has now appeared in eight
consecutive LGA events, a personal best, could claim no other bests, personal or otherwise for this round, with the exception of
possibly 'crappiest start'. Cupholders scored 11 on the par-5 1st hole, and two holes later would score a 10 before he finally
settled down, long after it was too late. With the win, Hale Norman has now won his last five tournaments, reminiscent of his
glory days in the LGA, from 1992 to 2001, when he dominated what was then a league seriously lacking talent. How little things
change!
took part in another competition at the Association's home course, as Costa Doinbiznis was once again a last minute
withdrawal. Hale Erwin Norman, taking advantage of weak competition (all takers have been considered weak by Norman
lately), continued his solid play, breaking 90 for a second time this season and pulling away for an eight-shot win over veteran
lefty loser P.P. Hornsby. Norman tied his own all-time LGA record, needing only 27 putts to complete the eighteen. His back nine
42 also set a new LGA standard. Runner-up Hornsby, after breaking 100 eleven times last season, finally got the monkey off his
back, coming in with a 97, his first double-digit score in 20 events dating back to last October. P.P. completed the feat in spite of
playing the first two holes in 16 shots. Top (and only) rightie for the day was Fred Cupholders, who has now appeared in eight
consecutive LGA events, a personal best, could claim no other bests, personal or otherwise for this round, with the exception of
possibly 'crappiest start'. Cupholders scored 11 on the par-5 1st hole, and two holes later would score a 10 before he finally
settled down, long after it was too late. With the win, Hale Norman has now won his last five tournaments, reminiscent of his
glory days in the LGA, from 1992 to 2001, when he dominated what was then a league seriously lacking talent. How little things
change!
JULY 12, 2003 - CAUGHNAWAGA
P.P. HORNSBY
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
42-51--- 93
50-50--- 100
52-49--- 101
50-50--- 100
52-49--- 101
Another small field of three enjoyed cool and cloudy weather on a Saturday morning at Caughnawaga, with everyone being extra
focused, sensing an opportunity given the absence of red hot Hale Erwin Norman on this day. Taking advantage of the situation
was P.P. Hornsby, who equalled his career best with a 42 on the front, and failing to score worse than bogey until 11, coasted to
his first win of the year, a personal season low 93. Hornsby's victory means that all ranking LGA members now have wins in
2003 with the exception of Pietro Lewinsky, who is not projected to win this season. Hornsby made a series of critical putts,
especially on 16, where his 25 footer proved to be the 'nail', crushing a late charge by runner up Dr. Mario Blondin. It was
Hornsby's second straight double-digit round. Blondin, who finished seven shots back, carded 41 putts for the day, including
several misses from inside three feet. His barf-laden performance with the flat blade proved to be the difference. Mario did
manage his second birdie of the season on the par-3 8th. Finishing last for a second straight event was Fred Cupholders, once
again failing to uphold rightie pride. Cupholders four-putted twice, digging for himself enough of a hole that even with a 49 on
the back he could not pull himself out of the cellar. Hornsby was calm but satisfied in the clubhouse after the tournament.
Facing questions from the few reporters covering the event, P.P. could not explain how he managed to keep his score so low on
such a windy day, nor did he know how he succeeded in ripping his pants during the round.
focused, sensing an opportunity given the absence of red hot Hale Erwin Norman on this day. Taking advantage of the situation
was P.P. Hornsby, who equalled his career best with a 42 on the front, and failing to score worse than bogey until 11, coasted to
his first win of the year, a personal season low 93. Hornsby's victory means that all ranking LGA members now have wins in
2003 with the exception of Pietro Lewinsky, who is not projected to win this season. Hornsby made a series of critical putts,
especially on 16, where his 25 footer proved to be the 'nail', crushing a late charge by runner up Dr. Mario Blondin. It was
Hornsby's second straight double-digit round. Blondin, who finished seven shots back, carded 41 putts for the day, including
several misses from inside three feet. His barf-laden performance with the flat blade proved to be the difference. Mario did
manage his second birdie of the season on the par-3 8th. Finishing last for a second straight event was Fred Cupholders, once
again failing to uphold rightie pride. Cupholders four-putted twice, digging for himself enough of a hole that even with a 49 on
the back he could not pull himself out of the cellar. Hornsby was calm but satisfied in the clubhouse after the tournament.
Facing questions from the few reporters covering the event, P.P. could not explain how he managed to keep his score so low on
such a windy day, nor did he know how he succeeded in ripping his pants during the round.
JULY 13, 2003 - BELLEVUE - WOODLANDS COURSE
HALE E. NORMAN
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
P.P. HORNSBY
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
P.P. HORNSBY
40-47--- 87
48-50--- 98
54-56--- 110
48-50--- 98
54-56--- 110
The LGA completed its first doubleheader weekend in some time with an official event at the Woodlands Course at Bellevue.
Braving scattered showers and more cool weather, Hale Erwin Norman continued his domination of late, going out for the
second time in as many months in only 40 shots, including a chip-in birdie on the par-4 3rd, and tallied eight pars for the day en
route to another sub-90 round, his third in his last five events. The win was Hale's sixth straight. Norman has also not finished
worse that second place all year long. Runner-up by eleven shots and top rightie once again was Fred Cupholders. Fred
embarrassed himself by forgetting to bring his clubs to the course. After renting the ugliest set of clubs this reporter has ever
seen, Cupholders proceeded to embarrass P.P. Hornsby, scoring his low round so far this year, a decent 98. Cellar dweller
Hornsby, using his own clubs, hit his tee shot on one about three feet, and didn't improve much thereafter, ballooning to a
disappointing 110. Hornsby's forty putts didn't help matters, nor did his lousy chipping or his crappy tee shots. Cupholders and
Hornsby expressed frustration at Norman's good play of late, as the LGA continues to watch him pull away in all statistical
categories. "Anyone know a good hit man?", Hornsby joked at the post-event press conference.
Braving scattered showers and more cool weather, Hale Erwin Norman continued his domination of late, going out for the
second time in as many months in only 40 shots, including a chip-in birdie on the par-4 3rd, and tallied eight pars for the day en
route to another sub-90 round, his third in his last five events. The win was Hale's sixth straight. Norman has also not finished
worse that second place all year long. Runner-up by eleven shots and top rightie once again was Fred Cupholders. Fred
embarrassed himself by forgetting to bring his clubs to the course. After renting the ugliest set of clubs this reporter has ever
seen, Cupholders proceeded to embarrass P.P. Hornsby, scoring his low round so far this year, a decent 98. Cellar dweller
Hornsby, using his own clubs, hit his tee shot on one about three feet, and didn't improve much thereafter, ballooning to a
disappointing 110. Hornsby's forty putts didn't help matters, nor did his lousy chipping or his crappy tee shots. Cupholders and
Hornsby expressed frustration at Norman's good play of late, as the LGA continues to watch him pull away in all statistical
categories. "Anyone know a good hit man?", Hornsby joked at the post-event press conference.
JULY 20, 2003 - CAUGHNAWAGA
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
HALE E. NORMAN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
P.P. HORNSBY
HALE E. NORMAN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
P.P. HORNSBY
43-45--- 88
47-49--- 96
49-51--- 100
50-52--- 102
47-49--- 96
49-51--- 100
50-52--- 102
With the top four ranked players in the LGA participating in this, the 20th event of the season, pundits were expecting either a
heated battle or another runaway victory by Hale Erwin Norman, but neither materialized. Dr. Mario Blondin, as seems to be his
tradition, chose mid-July to come to life, equalling his career best score at 88 and pulling away for an easy 8 shot victory over
Hale Erwin Norman, bringing to an end Hale's string of consecutive event wins at six. It was a good day on the greens for the
doctor, draining a slew of long putts, including a critical 20-footer for a triple bogey on nine when it appeared he was in a total
collapse. Blondin also counted six pars for the 18 holes, by far his best this year. Norman birdied the par-5 first hole after
reaching in two, and displayed great confidence, almost trash talking until he would find the out of bounds on four and take two
water penalties on five, a feat that would shut anyone up. Norman rallied back and actually tooke the lead through 13, but it
would be short lived. Spoiling another lefty 1-2-3 sweep was Costa Doinbiznis, appearing in only his fourth event in the last two
months. Starting the day with an air ball on the first tee, 'The Biz' missed breaking 100 by one, proving once again just how costly
those full misses can be. He finished the day on a high note, however, hanging onto third place by making birdie on 18. Last
place dishonours once again went to P.P. Hornsby. While driving the ball beter than he ever has during his long and less than
illustrious, vomit-reeking career, P.P. couldn't find the hole with his putter once again. Hornsby's 42 putts for the round was his
worst in 2003, and matched the LGA season worst as well. Dr. Blondin was delirious following the event, wiping the drool as he
anticipated next week's tournament. Blondin will have to come up with a few more performances like today's if we are to
consider the Norman-Blondin rivalry as renewed.
heated battle or another runaway victory by Hale Erwin Norman, but neither materialized. Dr. Mario Blondin, as seems to be his
tradition, chose mid-July to come to life, equalling his career best score at 88 and pulling away for an easy 8 shot victory over
Hale Erwin Norman, bringing to an end Hale's string of consecutive event wins at six. It was a good day on the greens for the
doctor, draining a slew of long putts, including a critical 20-footer for a triple bogey on nine when it appeared he was in a total
collapse. Blondin also counted six pars for the 18 holes, by far his best this year. Norman birdied the par-5 first hole after
reaching in two, and displayed great confidence, almost trash talking until he would find the out of bounds on four and take two
water penalties on five, a feat that would shut anyone up. Norman rallied back and actually tooke the lead through 13, but it
would be short lived. Spoiling another lefty 1-2-3 sweep was Costa Doinbiznis, appearing in only his fourth event in the last two
months. Starting the day with an air ball on the first tee, 'The Biz' missed breaking 100 by one, proving once again just how costly
those full misses can be. He finished the day on a high note, however, hanging onto third place by making birdie on 18. Last
place dishonours once again went to P.P. Hornsby. While driving the ball beter than he ever has during his long and less than
illustrious, vomit-reeking career, P.P. couldn't find the hole with his putter once again. Hornsby's 42 putts for the round was his
worst in 2003, and matched the LGA season worst as well. Dr. Blondin was delirious following the event, wiping the drool as he
anticipated next week's tournament. Blondin will have to come up with a few more performances like today's if we are to
consider the Norman-Blondin rivalry as renewed.
JULY 26, 2003 - DORVAL - OAKVILLE COURSE
HALE E. NORMAN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
P.P. HORNSBY
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
P.P. HORNSBY
48-45--- 93
48-49--- 97
51-52--- 103
55-52--- 107
48-49--- 97
51-52--- 103
55-52--- 107
The LGA made its long overdue return to the Oakville course at Dorval for 2003, site of many crap-based performances over the
seasons. After seeing his winning streak terminated at six last Sunday, Hale Erwin Norman, against an identical field, battled
rightie Costa Doinbiznis for 9 holes before pulling away for a four-shot win, his 10th of the year. Although Hale carded only two
pars for the round, his spectacular birdie on five after reaching the green from the fairway bunker, and his 29 putts, went a long
way towards his eighth straight sub-100 round. Runner-up Costa Doinbiznis, who was tied with Norman at the turn, managed to
butcher the par-5 10th, scoring a nine to effectively eliminate himself from victory. 'The Biz' came into the event with high
expectations, as Oakville was the venue for his memorable 90 of last summer to complete a 90-90 doubleheader weekend
sweep and a victory over Norman in the obscure $50 Doculab Senior-Junior Challenge. Finishing a disappointing third was Dr.
Mario Blondin, fresh from his season-low 88 the previous week. Blondin, competing in only his third event of the month, had
difficulty making good things happen, but scored low enough to stave off Doinbiznis for overall second rank, at least for now, by
a puny 0.01 shots. Unfortunately for Blondin and lefties everywhere, Doinbiznis saw his his official LGA handicap drop below
that of the doctor for the first time ever. Last place, of course, fell once again to P.P. Hornsby. Having never played well at Dorval
over his long and less than illustrious career, Hornsby continued the tradition, although his 107 was indeed an improvement
over past performances there. Since taking his first event win of the year on July 12th, P.P. has now finished in the cellar in his
last three outings. "Sooner or later, Lewinsky will play", Hornsby commented defiantly after the round.
seasons. After seeing his winning streak terminated at six last Sunday, Hale Erwin Norman, against an identical field, battled
rightie Costa Doinbiznis for 9 holes before pulling away for a four-shot win, his 10th of the year. Although Hale carded only two
pars for the round, his spectacular birdie on five after reaching the green from the fairway bunker, and his 29 putts, went a long
way towards his eighth straight sub-100 round. Runner-up Costa Doinbiznis, who was tied with Norman at the turn, managed to
butcher the par-5 10th, scoring a nine to effectively eliminate himself from victory. 'The Biz' came into the event with high
expectations, as Oakville was the venue for his memorable 90 of last summer to complete a 90-90 doubleheader weekend
sweep and a victory over Norman in the obscure $50 Doculab Senior-Junior Challenge. Finishing a disappointing third was Dr.
Mario Blondin, fresh from his season-low 88 the previous week. Blondin, competing in only his third event of the month, had
difficulty making good things happen, but scored low enough to stave off Doinbiznis for overall second rank, at least for now, by
a puny 0.01 shots. Unfortunately for Blondin and lefties everywhere, Doinbiznis saw his his official LGA handicap drop below
that of the doctor for the first time ever. Last place, of course, fell once again to P.P. Hornsby. Having never played well at Dorval
over his long and less than illustrious career, Hornsby continued the tradition, although his 107 was indeed an improvement
over past performances there. Since taking his first event win of the year on July 12th, P.P. has now finished in the cellar in his
last three outings. "Sooner or later, Lewinsky will play", Hornsby commented defiantly after the round.
JULY 30, 2003 - CAUGHNAWAGA
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
P.P. HORNSBY
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
P.P. HORNSBY
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
43-52--- 95
50-47--- 97
52-53--- 105
66-66--- 132
50-47--- 97
52-53--- 105
66-66--- 132
In contrast to recent LGA events, this Wednesday afternoon special at the Cog featured the four lowest ranked members all
seeking a rare win. The honour went to Chris The 9-Iron Kid, who held off a charging Fred Cupholders coming in after a sizzling
front nine 43 for a two shot victory, 9-Iron's second of 2003. After scoring a puke-ingesting 9 on the famous par-4 12th, Chris
nearly eagled 13 from the right rough at 160 yards (he scored par), deeming the event a foregone conclusion. 9-Iron's victory
completes the sweep for lefties in the month of July, with each full-time lefty winning at least once. The last righthander to win an
event was runner-up Fred Cupholders, who gave it a good run on this day, and has now scored in double-digits in three straight.
Despite his 97, Fred failed to score par until the beer hole 17th, as good a place as any to end such a slump. His 97 was
enough to catapult him into fourth place in overall ranking, a position that, if he could hold it, would place him in the final group at
the Lefty Masters August 24th. Finishing third to finally avoid the cellar was pre-event favourite P.P. Hornsby, who scored zero
pars for the round, a major factor in the calculation of his 105 score. Hornsby has never won a tournament which he entered as
the favourite, a fact that merely adds to his impressive career record of crappy golf mired in chokism (my term). And speaking of
crappy golf, Pietro Lewinsky returned to the LGA after a month off. His double 66, although excessively vomit-reeking, did enjoy a
few positive notes. It was the first time in 2003 Pietro did not shoot a score that was higher than his previous round. Pietro also
managed a par and two bogeys. I shall not forget to mention, however, his magot-filled 14 to start the round, nor will I ignore his
two other double-digit holes, on 15 and 18. The 9-Iron Kid was pleased with his victory, as was evident by his smile, but did not
share any commentary with reporters after the game.
seeking a rare win. The honour went to Chris The 9-Iron Kid, who held off a charging Fred Cupholders coming in after a sizzling
front nine 43 for a two shot victory, 9-Iron's second of 2003. After scoring a puke-ingesting 9 on the famous par-4 12th, Chris
nearly eagled 13 from the right rough at 160 yards (he scored par), deeming the event a foregone conclusion. 9-Iron's victory
completes the sweep for lefties in the month of July, with each full-time lefty winning at least once. The last righthander to win an
event was runner-up Fred Cupholders, who gave it a good run on this day, and has now scored in double-digits in three straight.
Despite his 97, Fred failed to score par until the beer hole 17th, as good a place as any to end such a slump. His 97 was
enough to catapult him into fourth place in overall ranking, a position that, if he could hold it, would place him in the final group at
the Lefty Masters August 24th. Finishing third to finally avoid the cellar was pre-event favourite P.P. Hornsby, who scored zero
pars for the round, a major factor in the calculation of his 105 score. Hornsby has never won a tournament which he entered as
the favourite, a fact that merely adds to his impressive career record of crappy golf mired in chokism (my term). And speaking of
crappy golf, Pietro Lewinsky returned to the LGA after a month off. His double 66, although excessively vomit-reeking, did enjoy a
few positive notes. It was the first time in 2003 Pietro did not shoot a score that was higher than his previous round. Pietro also
managed a par and two bogeys. I shall not forget to mention, however, his magot-filled 14 to start the round, nor will I ignore his
two other double-digit holes, on 15 and 18. The 9-Iron Kid was pleased with his victory, as was evident by his smile, but did not
share any commentary with reporters after the game.