| The Month in Review |
| A monthly feature recapping all Lefty Golfers Association events |
| June 2005 |
JUNE 4, 2005 - LAFLEUR
PAUL HORNSBY III
HALE E. NORMAN
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
HALE E. NORMAN
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
53-47--- 100
57-46--- 103
57-50--- 107
60-57--- 117
57-46--- 103
57-50--- 107
60-57--- 117
The LGA kicked off the month of June with a reunion of the Lefty Foursome at Lafleur. Long suffering Paul Hornsby III managed
to build a five shot lead at one point thanks in great part to horrendous play on the part of his opponents. What was different
about this event was that 'Da Turd' was able to hang on for a three-shot win over Hale Erwin Norman, in spite of his 43 putts for
the day. It was Hornsby's first victory of the year and season-low round as well. In true LGA fashion, Hornsby took the event
without scoring a single par. Second place honours fell to Hale Erwin Norman. After a first hole 11 and a barf-inducing front
nine 57, Hale rallied coming in with a 46, but it was too little, too late. It was the first time this season Norman failed to break
100. Chris The 9-Iron Kid waited until the month of June to make his season debut, and despite the rust posted a respectable
(sort of) 107, which included 44 putts. One of his missed putts was a two-footer for birdie on 11. 9-Iron has not scored a birdie
since 2003. And speaking of suffering, Dr. Mario Blondin continued his magot-producing play of late, coming in with a 117. His
12 on the par-4 15th served as a clinic in how not to play golf. Although the doctor denied that he had spent most of the
previous night performing overnight surgery, he was nevertheless seen leaving the hospital as the sun was rising, which, if
true, might once again explain his diarrhea-stenching performance. Or maybe the doctor has simply lost it. Stay tuned.
to build a five shot lead at one point thanks in great part to horrendous play on the part of his opponents. What was different
about this event was that 'Da Turd' was able to hang on for a three-shot win over Hale Erwin Norman, in spite of his 43 putts for
the day. It was Hornsby's first victory of the year and season-low round as well. In true LGA fashion, Hornsby took the event
without scoring a single par. Second place honours fell to Hale Erwin Norman. After a first hole 11 and a barf-inducing front
nine 57, Hale rallied coming in with a 46, but it was too little, too late. It was the first time this season Norman failed to break
100. Chris The 9-Iron Kid waited until the month of June to make his season debut, and despite the rust posted a respectable
(sort of) 107, which included 44 putts. One of his missed putts was a two-footer for birdie on 11. 9-Iron has not scored a birdie
since 2003. And speaking of suffering, Dr. Mario Blondin continued his magot-producing play of late, coming in with a 117. His
12 on the par-4 15th served as a clinic in how not to play golf. Although the doctor denied that he had spent most of the
previous night performing overnight surgery, he was nevertheless seen leaving the hospital as the sun was rising, which, if
true, might once again explain his diarrhea-stenching performance. Or maybe the doctor has simply lost it. Stay tuned.
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Photos not available
JUNE 11, 2005 - ST-FRANCOIS (MILLE-ILES COURSE)
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
HALE E. NORMAN
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
PAUL HORNSBY III
HALE E. NORMAN
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
PAUL HORNSBY III
49-48--- 97
49-56--- 105
52-57--- 109
62-48--- 110
53-58--- 111
53-60--- 113
49-56--- 105
52-57--- 109
62-48--- 110
53-58--- 111
53-60--- 113
For the first time since 2001, the LGA graced the fairways (and woods and bunkers and lakes) of the Mille-Iles Course at
St-Francois on what was perhaps the hottest and most humid day in LGA history. Almost predictably (if you can predict anything
at all with this gang), youth prevailed with Costa Doinbiznis taking his second victory of the season by an easy eight strokes
over Hale Erwin Norman. 'The Biz' got off to a flying start, parring two of his first three holes, before returning to his normal
mediocre play, but Hale Erwin Norman would fade badly in the end, scoring 10 on the short par-4 18th, helping Costa seal the
runaway win. It was Hale's second consecutive game in triple digits, in spite of his birdie on the par-4 12th. The most drama
would be found in the battle for third spot, which eventually fell to Fred Cupholders. Fred's back nine 57 was his worst of the
young season, highlighted by his acrid play on 14 and 15, where he would need a combined 20 shots to complete the two
holes, but his score was still good enough for third thanks to Dr. Blondin's front nine 62 (heave!!!), featuring two 10's, one on
the par-4 9th hole. Still the doctor rallied back with a 48 coming in to take fourth by a single shot over Chris The 9-Iron Kid. Chris
also scored a ten on this scorcher of a day, but at least it was on a par five. Rounding out the field was lifetime loser Paul
Hornsby III. 'Da Turd' was comfortable in third place with only four holes to play, but would take a lost ball penalty on three of his
last four holes to end up in the cellar once again. In the clubhouse following the event, a very tired group of golfers (and Paul
Hornsby III) bitched and moaned about the heat, but were probably more upset about their scores, given that the only one not
complaining was the victor, Costa Doinbiznis.
St-Francois on what was perhaps the hottest and most humid day in LGA history. Almost predictably (if you can predict anything
at all with this gang), youth prevailed with Costa Doinbiznis taking his second victory of the season by an easy eight strokes
over Hale Erwin Norman. 'The Biz' got off to a flying start, parring two of his first three holes, before returning to his normal
mediocre play, but Hale Erwin Norman would fade badly in the end, scoring 10 on the short par-4 18th, helping Costa seal the
runaway win. It was Hale's second consecutive game in triple digits, in spite of his birdie on the par-4 12th. The most drama
would be found in the battle for third spot, which eventually fell to Fred Cupholders. Fred's back nine 57 was his worst of the
young season, highlighted by his acrid play on 14 and 15, where he would need a combined 20 shots to complete the two
holes, but his score was still good enough for third thanks to Dr. Blondin's front nine 62 (heave!!!), featuring two 10's, one on
the par-4 9th hole. Still the doctor rallied back with a 48 coming in to take fourth by a single shot over Chris The 9-Iron Kid. Chris
also scored a ten on this scorcher of a day, but at least it was on a par five. Rounding out the field was lifetime loser Paul
Hornsby III. 'Da Turd' was comfortable in third place with only four holes to play, but would take a lost ball penalty on three of his
last four holes to end up in the cellar once again. In the clubhouse following the event, a very tired group of golfers (and Paul
Hornsby III) bitched and moaned about the heat, but were probably more upset about their scores, given that the only one not
complaining was the victor, Costa Doinbiznis.
Photos not available
JUNE 18, 2005 - CAUGHNAWAGA
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
PAUL HORNSBY III
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
PAUL HORNSBY III
47-48--- 95
52-52--- 104
52-57--- 109
52-52--- 104
52-57--- 109
Kicking off what has become a rarity in the LGA, a scheduled doubleheader weekend, a barely official field of three returned to
Caughnawaga. In what must have seemed a tremendously weak field to the winner, Fred Cupholders scored four pars for the
day, and managed to break 100 even though he putted 38 times, in the process running away for an easy nine shot victory over
his lefty competition. It was the second victory by a righthander in as many events and Cupholders' third of the season in only
four tries. Much of the credit for Fred's win could be given to Dr. Mario Blondin, who continued to destroy his 2005 season,
failing to score a single par for the round and seeming lost through the duration after yet another night of nocturnal surgery, and
Paul Hornsby III, who also continued to disappoint, especially on the back nine where he would score a 57 which included two
chip-ins!!! Originally slated to complete the foursome was Hale Erwin Norman, who has been placed on the disabled list until
further notice after falling off his bicycle in an incident unrelated to the LGA, but very much related to alcohol, so there was a
slight connection nevertheless. Norman's injuries are serious enough that he is expected to be out of action for two to four
months, leaving the race wide open for 2005 Player of The Year. Of course, after watching Hornsby today, the LGA considered
placing him on the disabled list as well, but not, however, due to injury.
Caughnawaga. In what must have seemed a tremendously weak field to the winner, Fred Cupholders scored four pars for the
day, and managed to break 100 even though he putted 38 times, in the process running away for an easy nine shot victory over
his lefty competition. It was the second victory by a righthander in as many events and Cupholders' third of the season in only
four tries. Much of the credit for Fred's win could be given to Dr. Mario Blondin, who continued to destroy his 2005 season,
failing to score a single par for the round and seeming lost through the duration after yet another night of nocturnal surgery, and
Paul Hornsby III, who also continued to disappoint, especially on the back nine where he would score a 57 which included two
chip-ins!!! Originally slated to complete the foursome was Hale Erwin Norman, who has been placed on the disabled list until
further notice after falling off his bicycle in an incident unrelated to the LGA, but very much related to alcohol, so there was a
slight connection nevertheless. Norman's injuries are serious enough that he is expected to be out of action for two to four
months, leaving the race wide open for 2005 Player of The Year. Of course, after watching Hornsby today, the LGA considered
placing him on the disabled list as well, but not, however, due to injury.
Photos not available
JUNE 19, 2005 - BELLEVUE (BELLEVUE COURSE)
PAUL HORNSBY III
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
48-59--- 107
53-54--- 107
60-69--- 129
53-54--- 107
60-69--- 129
Another barely official field of three travelled to the town of Lery to complete the first scheduled doubleheader weekend of the
campaign. With the only lefty representation being in the person of Paul Hornsby III, righthanders came out gunning for their
third straight LGA victory, while lefties were left to pray (Dr. Blondin cancelled once again after administering late night
anaesthetics). But Hornsby would get off to a flying start, finishing the front nine with par-par and reaching the turn with a
five-shot lead over Costa Doinbiznis. 'The Biz' chipped away but was still two shots down heading to 18 where the real drama
would begin. After Costa put his approcah shot (his second shot in case you were wondering) about five feet past the green,
Hornsby would slice his apporach (also his second shot, miraculously) towards the clubhouse, hitting the roof. After searching,
Hornsby's ball was found next to the green in what was one of the luckiest breaks of the season and probably the 'nail' sealing
Hornsby's win. But 'Da Turd' would double-hit his next shot, then make a horrible putt. Meanwhile, Doinbiznis found the green,
leaving him a putt for the victory. Naturally, Costa missed, and they ended up with a half a victory each after the pathetic display
of pressure golf by both. Also participating but never in contention was Pietro Lewinsky, whose 129, although vomit-reeking,
was his best round of 2005. Lewinsky scored three bogeys on the first six holes, showing some promise. Of course, that
promise was broken with a back nine 69, a number which was appropriately sucky. Remember that LGA rules state that in the
event of a tie between a lefty and a righthander, the lefthander always gets top billing.
campaign. With the only lefty representation being in the person of Paul Hornsby III, righthanders came out gunning for their
third straight LGA victory, while lefties were left to pray (Dr. Blondin cancelled once again after administering late night
anaesthetics). But Hornsby would get off to a flying start, finishing the front nine with par-par and reaching the turn with a
five-shot lead over Costa Doinbiznis. 'The Biz' chipped away but was still two shots down heading to 18 where the real drama
would begin. After Costa put his approcah shot (his second shot in case you were wondering) about five feet past the green,
Hornsby would slice his apporach (also his second shot, miraculously) towards the clubhouse, hitting the roof. After searching,
Hornsby's ball was found next to the green in what was one of the luckiest breaks of the season and probably the 'nail' sealing
Hornsby's win. But 'Da Turd' would double-hit his next shot, then make a horrible putt. Meanwhile, Doinbiznis found the green,
leaving him a putt for the victory. Naturally, Costa missed, and they ended up with a half a victory each after the pathetic display
of pressure golf by both. Also participating but never in contention was Pietro Lewinsky, whose 129, although vomit-reeking,
was his best round of 2005. Lewinsky scored three bogeys on the first six holes, showing some promise. Of course, that
promise was broken with a back nine 69, a number which was appropriately sucky. Remember that LGA rules state that in the
event of a tie between a lefty and a righthander, the lefthander always gets top billing.
Photos not available