| The Month in Review |
| A monthly feature recapping all Lefty Golfers Association events |
| June 2004 |
Â
JUNE 5, 2004 - DORVAL - OAKVILLE COURSE
HALE E. NORMAN
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
PAUL HORNSBY III
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
PAUL HORNSBY III
47-49--- 96
54-59--- 113
61-56--- 117
58-59--- 117
54-59--- 113
61-56--- 117
58-59--- 117
The LGA kicked off the critical month of June at the Oakville Course at Dorval, site of numerous feces-emitting performances
over the past several seasons by our LGA heroes. If you were hoping to witness more of the same, the reunited lefty foursome
would not disappoint you on this day. The exception was Hale Erwin Norman, who putted only 32 times on the slick greens,
coming in with a 96 and his second victory of the season. Norman's birdie on the par-4 15th went a long way towards his
breaking 100, and put him in a tie for the LGA lead in birdies for the season as well. But it did nothing to assure the win, as
runner-up Dr. Mario Blondin found the Oakville layout a little too difficult, firing a 59 coming in for a barf-laden 113, 17 shots back
of the leader. Blondin putted 41 times, a horrible amount for the league putting leader. Finishing tied for last place were Chris
The 9-Iron Kid and Paul Hornsby III. 9-Iron rallied from four shots behind Hornsby with three to play to avoid the cellar-dweller
version of solitary confinement, capping off his day with a par on 18, his only one for the day. Hornsby also scored only one par,
but pathetically failed to score any bogeys for the round, a crappy feat even for loser Hornsby. Hornsby has yet to score in
double-digits in 2004. With the victory, Norman moves into second place in tournament victories, and if today was any indication,
he may climb even further within the coming weeks, but remember, this is the LGA, where anything can happen, and usually
does.
over the past several seasons by our LGA heroes. If you were hoping to witness more of the same, the reunited lefty foursome
would not disappoint you on this day. The exception was Hale Erwin Norman, who putted only 32 times on the slick greens,
coming in with a 96 and his second victory of the season. Norman's birdie on the par-4 15th went a long way towards his
breaking 100, and put him in a tie for the LGA lead in birdies for the season as well. But it did nothing to assure the win, as
runner-up Dr. Mario Blondin found the Oakville layout a little too difficult, firing a 59 coming in for a barf-laden 113, 17 shots back
of the leader. Blondin putted 41 times, a horrible amount for the league putting leader. Finishing tied for last place were Chris
The 9-Iron Kid and Paul Hornsby III. 9-Iron rallied from four shots behind Hornsby with three to play to avoid the cellar-dweller
version of solitary confinement, capping off his day with a par on 18, his only one for the day. Hornsby also scored only one par,
but pathetically failed to score any bogeys for the round, a crappy feat even for loser Hornsby. Hornsby has yet to score in
double-digits in 2004. With the victory, Norman moves into second place in tournament victories, and if today was any indication,
he may climb even further within the coming weeks, but remember, this is the LGA, where anything can happen, and usually
does.
Photos not available
JUNE 11, 2004 - CAUGHNAWAGA
PAUL HORNSBY III
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
50-47--- 97
45-52--- 97
46-57--- 103
57-48--- 105
45-52--- 97
46-57--- 103
57-48--- 105
For only the second time this season, the LGA graced the fairways of its 'home course', Caughnawaga, for a Friday morning
special. Without the presence of the top two lefties, the day promised a battle between the paws, and turned out just as that, with
the lefties prevailing by ever so slight a margin. Paul Hornsby III broke one hundred for the first time since November 1, 2003,
rallying from a front nine 50 and a five shot deficit to tie Fred Cupholders for the event victory, each earning one-half of a win.
Cupholders went out very strongly, posting a 45 which included three pars. He carded a fourth on the back, but his 9 from the
bunker on 15 allowed Hornsby to fashion the comeback, a feat which was completed after his par on the beer hole 17th. On the
finishing hole, Hornsby would triple-bogey, opening the door for the deadlock. Remember that in the LGA, in the event of a tie
between a lefty and a righthander, the lefty always gets 'top billing'. Taking third place for the lefties was Chris The 9-Iron Kid.
After a solid front nine 46, which included pars on the first two holes, Chris tired out rapidly, scoring two tens over the last four
holes. His performance was good enough to stave off last place Costa Doinbiznis, who after a brutal start, and an especially
brutal 11 on the third hole, made a charge towards 9-Iron, but fell short thanks to a 9 on the final hole. For the Yellow Jacket
champion Cupholders, it was only his first tournament win of the season. Actually, it wasn't even that. Even more surprisingly,
with the point-five event, Hornsby now has two wins, incredible for someone having as smelly a season as he is having so far.
special. Without the presence of the top two lefties, the day promised a battle between the paws, and turned out just as that, with
the lefties prevailing by ever so slight a margin. Paul Hornsby III broke one hundred for the first time since November 1, 2003,
rallying from a front nine 50 and a five shot deficit to tie Fred Cupholders for the event victory, each earning one-half of a win.
Cupholders went out very strongly, posting a 45 which included three pars. He carded a fourth on the back, but his 9 from the
bunker on 15 allowed Hornsby to fashion the comeback, a feat which was completed after his par on the beer hole 17th. On the
finishing hole, Hornsby would triple-bogey, opening the door for the deadlock. Remember that in the LGA, in the event of a tie
between a lefty and a righthander, the lefty always gets 'top billing'. Taking third place for the lefties was Chris The 9-Iron Kid.
After a solid front nine 46, which included pars on the first two holes, Chris tired out rapidly, scoring two tens over the last four
holes. His performance was good enough to stave off last place Costa Doinbiznis, who after a brutal start, and an especially
brutal 11 on the third hole, made a charge towards 9-Iron, but fell short thanks to a 9 on the final hole. For the Yellow Jacket
champion Cupholders, it was only his first tournament win of the season. Actually, it wasn't even that. Even more surprisingly,
with the point-five event, Hornsby now has two wins, incredible for someone having as smelly a season as he is having so far.
Photos not available
JUNE 13, 2004 - CAUGHNAWAGA
HALE E. NORMAN
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
PAUL HORNSBY III
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
PAUL HORNSBY III
42-48--- 90
51-46--- 97
55-49--- 104
51-46--- 97
55-49--- 104
The LGA returned to The Cog for a second time in three days for more beautiful summer weather and some pretty good golf too.
Hale Erwin Norman showed some of his form from '03, aided by a new putter and six pars, carding a 90 for the low score of the
young LGA season. Hale appeared to have a round in the 80's assured, but his slime spewing triple bogey on the beer hole
17th changed his destiny. Runner up and top rightie once again was Fred Cupholders, who scored his third straight in double
digits. Fred scored a 46 coming in, his best ever back nine at Caughnawaga, which included 2 pars, a fortune for the upstart
northpaw. His day could have been better, if he could get it going with the flat blade (38 putts). Returning to the cellar after a
point-five victory on Friday was veteran basement case Paul Hornsby III. Paul's day was almost salvaged after a front nine 55.
Needing bogey all the way after 8 to break 100, he lasted until 17, where he would triple. For good measure, he addded another
triple bogey on 18 for a 104, still one of his better rounds this year, in spite of putting a puss-forming 42 times! With the 90,
Norman's season scoring average fell below 100, placing him comfortably in the number one spot once again, further evidence
of the extreme lack of talent cursing the Lefty Golfers Association.
Hale Erwin Norman showed some of his form from '03, aided by a new putter and six pars, carding a 90 for the low score of the
young LGA season. Hale appeared to have a round in the 80's assured, but his slime spewing triple bogey on the beer hole
17th changed his destiny. Runner up and top rightie once again was Fred Cupholders, who scored his third straight in double
digits. Fred scored a 46 coming in, his best ever back nine at Caughnawaga, which included 2 pars, a fortune for the upstart
northpaw. His day could have been better, if he could get it going with the flat blade (38 putts). Returning to the cellar after a
point-five victory on Friday was veteran basement case Paul Hornsby III. Paul's day was almost salvaged after a front nine 55.
Needing bogey all the way after 8 to break 100, he lasted until 17, where he would triple. For good measure, he addded another
triple bogey on 18 for a 104, still one of his better rounds this year, in spite of putting a puss-forming 42 times! With the 90,
Norman's season scoring average fell below 100, placing him comfortably in the number one spot once again, further evidence
of the extreme lack of talent cursing the Lefty Golfers Association.
Photos not available
JUNE 20, 2004 - ROUVILLE
HALE E. NORMAN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
PAUL HORNSBY III
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
*CAT WOMAN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
PAUL HORNSBY III
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
*CAT WOMAN
44-52--- 96
46-55--- 101
48-56--- 104
67-71--- 138
75-73--- 148
46-55--- 101
48-56--- 104
67-71--- 138
75-73--- 148
For the first time in its long and barf-fueled history, the LGA visited Rouville for an official event. Hale Erwin Norman took
advantage of a weaker than usual field to post his third straight victory, and third straight under 100. Norman played a solid front
nine 44 to take a two shot lead at the turn over runner-up Costa Doinbiznis, and would eventually pull away to win by five despite
needing over 50 shots to complete the back nine. It was Norman's fifth event win of 2004, putting him only a half of a win back of
league leader Dr. Mario Blondin. Top rightie Doinbiznis also had a decent front nine 46, but after a birdie on ten, his second this
season, could not score better than double bogey the rest of the way, failing to break 100 in the process. Third place was
claimed easily by Paul Hornsby III. Showing improved form of late after a sad start to the season, Hornsby carded 5 pars, tieing
a personal best, but also failed to break 100 as a result of a back nine choke, and in particular a vomit-reeking 11 on the par-5
15th. Finishing fourth in a contest which would turn out a little bit too close for his liking was Pietro Lewinsky. Lewinsky had an
off day, even by his standards. His round included three double-digit holes, one of them a 15 on the par-5 12th, and more
importantly, although unknown to Lewinsky at the time, was that after the aforesaid 12th, Pietro led space alien Cat Woman, in
her second appearance of the year, by a mere three shots. Cat Woman entered the tournament with a season scoring average
of 200, but would score her first career par on the par-3 16th en route to a lifetime low 148, still crappy, but perhaps enough to
have Lewinsky looking over his shoulders a bit. The event was the final tune up before the season's first major tournament, The
Lefty Classic, slated for June 24th.
advantage of a weaker than usual field to post his third straight victory, and third straight under 100. Norman played a solid front
nine 44 to take a two shot lead at the turn over runner-up Costa Doinbiznis, and would eventually pull away to win by five despite
needing over 50 shots to complete the back nine. It was Norman's fifth event win of 2004, putting him only a half of a win back of
league leader Dr. Mario Blondin. Top rightie Doinbiznis also had a decent front nine 46, but after a birdie on ten, his second this
season, could not score better than double bogey the rest of the way, failing to break 100 in the process. Third place was
claimed easily by Paul Hornsby III. Showing improved form of late after a sad start to the season, Hornsby carded 5 pars, tieing
a personal best, but also failed to break 100 as a result of a back nine choke, and in particular a vomit-reeking 11 on the par-5
15th. Finishing fourth in a contest which would turn out a little bit too close for his liking was Pietro Lewinsky. Lewinsky had an
off day, even by his standards. His round included three double-digit holes, one of them a 15 on the par-5 12th, and more
importantly, although unknown to Lewinsky at the time, was that after the aforesaid 12th, Pietro led space alien Cat Woman, in
her second appearance of the year, by a mere three shots. Cat Woman entered the tournament with a season scoring average
of 200, but would score her first career par on the par-3 16th en route to a lifetime low 148, still crappy, but perhaps enough to
have Lewinsky looking over his shoulders a bit. The event was the final tune up before the season's first major tournament, The
Lefty Classic, slated for June 24th.
Photos not available
JUNE 24, 2004 - BONNIEBROOK
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
*F. CUPHOLDERS
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
PAUL HORNSBY III
HALE E. NORMAN
*F. CUPHOLDERS
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
PAUL HORNSBY III
HALE E. NORMAN
45-62--- 107
47-61--- 108
50-58--- 108
59-51--- 110
51-66--- 117
47-61--- 108
50-58--- 108
59-51--- 110
51-66--- 117
For a second straight year, the LGA's first major of the season was held at notorious Bonniebrook, where anything can and
usually does happen. After Dr. Mario Blondin and Fred Cupholders dueled it out with amazing golf for the first six holes
(Cupholders was only two over par and Blondin was two back), pulling away from the rest of the small field, things suddenly
went sour as the leaders headed to the back nine. Cupholders started the back with a reeking 10, and would be four behind
Blondin heading into the famous par-3 18th. Blondin would score an 11 to match Cupholders' 8 (hurl!!!) with the former hanging
on for a one shot victory over both Fred and Costa Doinbiznis. It was Dr. Blondin's first major victory since the 2002 Lefty
Masters, leaving him poised to make a run at the Lefty Slam. With three of the five golfers not breaking 60 on the back nine, The
Biz's 58 was good enough to rally to the second place finish. Costa shot his 108 in spite of a respectable five pars for the round.
Also rallying late was fourth place finisher Paul Hornsby III. Hornsby was 14 shots back at the turn, but his 51 coming in would
end up looking quite good when compared to the second half performances of his competitors. Paul would finish only three
back. Finishing last for the first time ever in a major tournament was perennial champion Hele Erwin Norman. His 66 on the
back nine was his worst nine ever in LGA action, and his 117 was by far his highest score this season. On the first tee box he
introduced his latest equipment, brush tees, guaranteed to shave five shots off a golfer's score. "Were it not for the brush tees, I
would have shot a 122.", explained Norman at the press conference held after the event.
usually does happen. After Dr. Mario Blondin and Fred Cupholders dueled it out with amazing golf for the first six holes
(Cupholders was only two over par and Blondin was two back), pulling away from the rest of the small field, things suddenly
went sour as the leaders headed to the back nine. Cupholders started the back with a reeking 10, and would be four behind
Blondin heading into the famous par-3 18th. Blondin would score an 11 to match Cupholders' 8 (hurl!!!) with the former hanging
on for a one shot victory over both Fred and Costa Doinbiznis. It was Dr. Blondin's first major victory since the 2002 Lefty
Masters, leaving him poised to make a run at the Lefty Slam. With three of the five golfers not breaking 60 on the back nine, The
Biz's 58 was good enough to rally to the second place finish. Costa shot his 108 in spite of a respectable five pars for the round.
Also rallying late was fourth place finisher Paul Hornsby III. Hornsby was 14 shots back at the turn, but his 51 coming in would
end up looking quite good when compared to the second half performances of his competitors. Paul would finish only three
back. Finishing last for the first time ever in a major tournament was perennial champion Hele Erwin Norman. His 66 on the
back nine was his worst nine ever in LGA action, and his 117 was by far his highest score this season. On the first tee box he
introduced his latest equipment, brush tees, guaranteed to shave five shots off a golfer's score. "Were it not for the brush tees, I
would have shot a 122.", explained Norman at the press conference held after the event.
Photos not available
THE SECOND LEFTY CLASSIC
JUNE 27, 2004 - LAFLEUR
HALE E. NORMAN
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
PAUL HORNSBY III
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
PAUL HORNSBY III
52-51--- 103
51-52--- 103
63-53--- 116
51-52--- 103
63-53--- 116
With The Lefty Classic now in the bag (barf bag, that is), the LGA returned to its normal schedule with a visit to Lafleur, where
more lacklustre golf was showcased. For a second consecutive tournament, no one managed to break 100, as Hale Erwin
Norman and Fred Cupholders battled it out, each posting 103's for half-victories. Although the wind was howling at times, there
were no valid excuses, as the golf was decidedly amateurish, with only four pars amassed by the entire field. Norman did trail by
four at one point, but chipped away at the lead with a steady stream of bogeys and double-bogeys, while Cupholders tried to
hang on for the win with his assortment of bogeys, double-bogeys, and of course, triple-bogeys. Remember that in the LGA, in
the event of a tie between a lefthander and a rightie, the southpaw always gets top billing. Finishing well back was Paul Hornsby
III, who further complicated an already difficult season with a putrid 116, making it two in a row at 110 or worse. Hornsby's 10 on
the tiny par-4 3rd hole would prove only the beginning of his problems for the day, as he went thirteen holes before he could
manage even a single bogey. 40 putts did not improve matters any for "Da Turd". With the month of June now complete, Norman
now has five and a half tournament wins, one short of Dr. Blondin's 6.5, while Cupholders now stands at one win, with today's
tie being added to his other point-five victory from June 11th. Incredibly, the number two ranked Cupholders has yet to claim a
victory by himself in 2004. Due to the large number of tied events this season, the argument surrounding the removal of the
tie-breaker rule last season has resurfaced, after Dr. Mario Blondin refused to participate in a tie-breaker at the end of the round,
the doctor at the time having been too hungover to stand up any longer.
more lacklustre golf was showcased. For a second consecutive tournament, no one managed to break 100, as Hale Erwin
Norman and Fred Cupholders battled it out, each posting 103's for half-victories. Although the wind was howling at times, there
were no valid excuses, as the golf was decidedly amateurish, with only four pars amassed by the entire field. Norman did trail by
four at one point, but chipped away at the lead with a steady stream of bogeys and double-bogeys, while Cupholders tried to
hang on for the win with his assortment of bogeys, double-bogeys, and of course, triple-bogeys. Remember that in the LGA, in
the event of a tie between a lefthander and a rightie, the southpaw always gets top billing. Finishing well back was Paul Hornsby
III, who further complicated an already difficult season with a putrid 116, making it two in a row at 110 or worse. Hornsby's 10 on
the tiny par-4 3rd hole would prove only the beginning of his problems for the day, as he went thirteen holes before he could
manage even a single bogey. 40 putts did not improve matters any for "Da Turd". With the month of June now complete, Norman
now has five and a half tournament wins, one short of Dr. Blondin's 6.5, while Cupholders now stands at one win, with today's
tie being added to his other point-five victory from June 11th. Incredibly, the number two ranked Cupholders has yet to claim a
victory by himself in 2004. Due to the large number of tied events this season, the argument surrounding the removal of the
tie-breaker rule last season has resurfaced, after Dr. Mario Blondin refused to participate in a tie-breaker at the end of the round,
the doctor at the time having been too hungover to stand up any longer.
Photos not available