| The Month in Review |
| A monthly feature recapping all Lefty Golfers Association events |
| June 2003 |
JUNE 8, 2003 - MASCOUCHE
HALE E. NORMAN
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
P.P. HORNSBY
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
P.P. HORNSBY
50-48--- 98
51-51--- 102
57-48--- 105
53-52--- 105
61-48--- 109
60-54--- 114
51-51--- 102
57-48--- 105
53-52--- 105
61-48--- 109
60-54--- 114
The LGA belatedly kicked off the month of June with its first ever event at Mascouche. Starting on the more difficult back nine, and
with an early morning tee time to boot, our world famous hackers dozed through the back with no one able to break 50. Hale
Erwin Norman scored birdie on the par-5 16th and was the only player talented enough to score in double digits on his way to
his second straight event victory and third of the season, tying him with Dr. Mario Blondin for top honours in that department. The
doctor, who has not been playing his best golf lately, once again only managed one par for the day, but, being once again in a
state of extreme fatigue after a late night of emergency prescriptions, was nevertheless happy with the result. The only two
righties in the field, Costa Doinbiznis and Freddie Cupholders (formerly Al Fred) could not claim to be the best 'northpaw' for the
day, with the two carding equal 105's. Cupholders did claim his first birdie of the year, however, with a chip-in on the par-3 11th,
while 'The Biz' came in with a 48, tied for the best nine of the round. Apparently off the disabled list (finally!!!) for good after
embarassing surgery of two season ago, Chris The 9-Iron Kid also suffered a terrible start, scoring 61 going out, but managed
to break 110 in spite of a pukefying 41 putts and a double hockey sticks eleven on the par-5 18th (heave!!!). Completing the field
was P.P. Hornsby, once again in triple digits, whose scores just seem to keep going south (or is it north?) Hornsby carded his
own big numbers, including a worm-laced 13 on the aforesaid par-5 18th, and was out of the picture early. With the win,
Norman continues to prove critics wrong, in particular Pavlo ("The Greek") Hornsbidakis. With the increasing gap in LGA scoring
average between Hale and those below him, it would take a complete breakdown for Norman to end the season ranked as low
as fifth.
with an early morning tee time to boot, our world famous hackers dozed through the back with no one able to break 50. Hale
Erwin Norman scored birdie on the par-5 16th and was the only player talented enough to score in double digits on his way to
his second straight event victory and third of the season, tying him with Dr. Mario Blondin for top honours in that department. The
doctor, who has not been playing his best golf lately, once again only managed one par for the day, but, being once again in a
state of extreme fatigue after a late night of emergency prescriptions, was nevertheless happy with the result. The only two
righties in the field, Costa Doinbiznis and Freddie Cupholders (formerly Al Fred) could not claim to be the best 'northpaw' for the
day, with the two carding equal 105's. Cupholders did claim his first birdie of the year, however, with a chip-in on the par-3 11th,
while 'The Biz' came in with a 48, tied for the best nine of the round. Apparently off the disabled list (finally!!!) for good after
embarassing surgery of two season ago, Chris The 9-Iron Kid also suffered a terrible start, scoring 61 going out, but managed
to break 110 in spite of a pukefying 41 putts and a double hockey sticks eleven on the par-5 18th (heave!!!). Completing the field
was P.P. Hornsby, once again in triple digits, whose scores just seem to keep going south (or is it north?) Hornsby carded his
own big numbers, including a worm-laced 13 on the aforesaid par-5 18th, and was out of the picture early. With the win,
Norman continues to prove critics wrong, in particular Pavlo ("The Greek") Hornsbidakis. With the increasing gap in LGA scoring
average between Hale and those below him, it would take a complete breakdown for Norman to end the season ranked as low
as fifth.
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JUNE 15, 2003 - CAUGHNAWAGA
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
HALE E. NORMAN
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
P.P. HORNSBY
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
HALE E. NORMAN
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
P.P. HORNSBY
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
51-48--- 99
48-52--- 100
48-52--- 100
47-54--- 101
52-51--- 103
63-65--- 128
48-52--- 100
48-52--- 100
47-54--- 101
52-51--- 103
63-65--- 128
Another sizable field of six braved beautiful weather (you have to be brave to play in an LGA event at any time) as the Lefty Golfers
Association made its return to its 'home' course, Caughnawaga. The tournament turned out to be one of the closest of the LGA's
'modern era', with only four shots separating the top five competitors by day's end. Righthander Freddie Cupholders (formerly Al
Fred, who submited his real name to LGA authorities after finally finding the right half of his birth certificate) scored four pars on
the day, and took unknowing advantage of a huge choke by Dr. Mario Blondin on 18 to take his first event victory of 2003 by a
single shot. Blondin was behind a tree on 18, and instead of punching onto the fairway to preserve his lead, hit trees twice before
smartening up, but the damage had been done. The doctor's error also enabled Hale Erwin Norman to sneak into a tie for
second with an identical 48-52, although Norman's day did not contain as many fine moments. Blondin finally marked his first
birdie of the season on the par-3 6th. Speaking of chokes, lefty veteran loser P.P. Hornsby let a front nine 47 go to waste once
again, failing to break 100 now in 15 straight. Facing a two-foot putt to tie Blondin and Norman for second, P.P. missed right
(cough, cough!!!). Finishing fifth for a second straight week was Chris The 9-Iron Kid, who has failed to revive his amazing form of
May 19th at the Doculab Cup where he fired a 93. He nevertheless continues to slowly move up the LGA rankings, thanks mostly
to the pathetic lack of talent in the association. Rounding out the pack as usual was Pietro Lewinsky, the hapless rightie, who
after multiple vomit ingestions of 10-8-10-8-9 to start, and resigned to giving up the game...plays 6 over par over the next 5 holes..
a 93 pace, including par on the ever difficult par-4 9th. He returned to his usual, but expect Pietro to return. Cupholders was
jubiliant after the event, much to the annoyance of lefties everywhere.
Association made its return to its 'home' course, Caughnawaga. The tournament turned out to be one of the closest of the LGA's
'modern era', with only four shots separating the top five competitors by day's end. Righthander Freddie Cupholders (formerly Al
Fred, who submited his real name to LGA authorities after finally finding the right half of his birth certificate) scored four pars on
the day, and took unknowing advantage of a huge choke by Dr. Mario Blondin on 18 to take his first event victory of 2003 by a
single shot. Blondin was behind a tree on 18, and instead of punching onto the fairway to preserve his lead, hit trees twice before
smartening up, but the damage had been done. The doctor's error also enabled Hale Erwin Norman to sneak into a tie for
second with an identical 48-52, although Norman's day did not contain as many fine moments. Blondin finally marked his first
birdie of the season on the par-3 6th. Speaking of chokes, lefty veteran loser P.P. Hornsby let a front nine 47 go to waste once
again, failing to break 100 now in 15 straight. Facing a two-foot putt to tie Blondin and Norman for second, P.P. missed right
(cough, cough!!!). Finishing fifth for a second straight week was Chris The 9-Iron Kid, who has failed to revive his amazing form of
May 19th at the Doculab Cup where he fired a 93. He nevertheless continues to slowly move up the LGA rankings, thanks mostly
to the pathetic lack of talent in the association. Rounding out the pack as usual was Pietro Lewinsky, the hapless rightie, who
after multiple vomit ingestions of 10-8-10-8-9 to start, and resigned to giving up the game...plays 6 over par over the next 5 holes..
a 93 pace, including par on the ever difficult par-4 9th. He returned to his usual, but expect Pietro to return. Cupholders was
jubiliant after the event, much to the annoyance of lefties everywhere.
JUNE 20, 2003 - LAFLEUR
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
P.P. HORNSBY
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
P.P. HORNSBY
49-57--- 106
52-56--- 108
60-58--- 118
52-56--- 108
60-58--- 118
The LGA returned to Lafleur for the first time in '03 for a Friday special. A small field of three showed up at the first tee, but
apparently disappeared somewhere on the course, as the event resulted in the highest winning score in the LGA in two years.
Fred Cupholders claimed his second straight event win in a race that could best be described as a comedy of errors. Leading
by three heading to the 18th tee, Cupholders would score a putrid 12 (heave!!!), leaving the tournament for grabs, but Chris The
9-Iron Kid, failing to seize the golden opportunity, would fire an 11 (hurl!!!!) on the same hole. Chris got on the birdie board for
the season with a two on the par-3 7th, and has now appeared in three straight LGA events for the first time since the late 90's.
Last place once again fell to P.P. Hornsby. Failing to make par on the day, Hornsby came in with his highest score of the
season, a very disappointing 118. Although his front nine 60 was exceptionally crappy, his back nine 58 was also shit. With two
straight victories, Cupholders was once again jubilant in victory, and would have displayed his usual posturing, were he not
reminded by reporters after the event that his score would probably have missed the cut on the Estonian Grandmas Tour.
apparently disappeared somewhere on the course, as the event resulted in the highest winning score in the LGA in two years.
Fred Cupholders claimed his second straight event win in a race that could best be described as a comedy of errors. Leading
by three heading to the 18th tee, Cupholders would score a putrid 12 (heave!!!), leaving the tournament for grabs, but Chris The
9-Iron Kid, failing to seize the golden opportunity, would fire an 11 (hurl!!!!) on the same hole. Chris got on the birdie board for
the season with a two on the par-3 7th, and has now appeared in three straight LGA events for the first time since the late 90's.
Last place once again fell to P.P. Hornsby. Failing to make par on the day, Hornsby came in with his highest score of the
season, a very disappointing 118. Although his front nine 60 was exceptionally crappy, his back nine 58 was also shit. With two
straight victories, Cupholders was once again jubilant in victory, and would have displayed his usual posturing, were he not
reminded by reporters after the event that his score would probably have missed the cut on the Estonian Grandmas Tour.
JUNE 22, 2003 - LAFLEUR
HALE E. NORMAN
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
P.P. HORNSBY
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
P.P. HORNSBY
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
46-48--- 94
53-52--- 105
58-48--- 106
58-58--- 116
53-52--- 105
58-48--- 106
58-58--- 116
Lafleur was the venue for a second straight event as our LGA heroes (and Freddie Cupholders) teed it up on a hot summer
Sunday. Hale Erwin Norman returned to the winners' circle equalling his low round of the year with a 94, running away with the
tournament by a huge eleven strokes. Although Hale has had more spectacular rounds, he led by seven at the turn and once
again had himself as his only threat. Norman now leads the LGA with 4 tournament victories this year. Fred Cupholders, vying
for a third straight win, grabbed the runner-up position thanks to several factors, namely a sizzling first three holes, a total of
four pars on the day, and the atrocious putting of P.P. Hornsby, who for a second consecutive Sunday missed a short putt to tie
for second. This time Hornsby faced a one-footer....and left it short!!! Despite a hot stretch on the back nine, including a birdie,
Hornsby has now gone 17 rounds without breaking 100, more proof that last year was an anomaly for P.P. And speaking of
falling apart, 2002 Lefty Masters and Olympic champion Dr. Mario Blondin had one of his worst performances of his career.
Scoring only one par and counting 44 putts (puke!!!), Blondin has started his own streak of triple-digit scores, which now
stands at five. Despite the disappointment displayed by both Hornsby and Blondin, they appeared relieved that at least a lefty
emerged victorious, as it should be.
Sunday. Hale Erwin Norman returned to the winners' circle equalling his low round of the year with a 94, running away with the
tournament by a huge eleven strokes. Although Hale has had more spectacular rounds, he led by seven at the turn and once
again had himself as his only threat. Norman now leads the LGA with 4 tournament victories this year. Fred Cupholders, vying
for a third straight win, grabbed the runner-up position thanks to several factors, namely a sizzling first three holes, a total of
four pars on the day, and the atrocious putting of P.P. Hornsby, who for a second consecutive Sunday missed a short putt to tie
for second. This time Hornsby faced a one-footer....and left it short!!! Despite a hot stretch on the back nine, including a birdie,
Hornsby has now gone 17 rounds without breaking 100, more proof that last year was an anomaly for P.P. And speaking of
falling apart, 2002 Lefty Masters and Olympic champion Dr. Mario Blondin had one of his worst performances of his career.
Scoring only one par and counting 44 putts (puke!!!), Blondin has started his own streak of triple-digit scores, which now
stands at five. Despite the disappointment displayed by both Hornsby and Blondin, they appeared relieved that at least a lefty
emerged victorious, as it should be.
JUNE 24, 2003 - BONNIEBROOK
THE FIRST LEFTY CLASSIC
THE FIRST LEFTY CLASSIC
HALE E. NORMAN
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
P.P. HORNSBY
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
CHRIS 9-IRON KID
P.P. HORNSBY
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
*PIETRO LEWINSKY
The first leg of the Lefty Slam was contested at the inaugural Lefty Classic, held at Bonniebrook, scene of some of the most
famous chokes in LGA history. After being shut out from a major victory in 2002, the legendary Hale Erwin Norman became the
first player in modern LGA history to break 100 at Bonniebrook, coasting to a laughable 14 shot win and hoisting the Classic
Cup. Norman's 94 surprised even himself, as he had found it difficult breaking 110 at this venue over the years. His day
included a birdie on two to tie P.P. Hornsby once again for the season lead in that department, as well as a strong five pars on
the narrow layout. In second place once again was Fred Cupholders. Driving an electric cart for the event on this very hot and
humid day, Cupholders was roundly booed by the gallery upon his introduction, and further hissed at later when he
controversially picked up his ball on seven after landing in a cluster of rocks. Fred started strongly, contending until his lousy 8
on seven, immediately followed by a 10. After Cupholders, the leaderboard appeared more like a basketball game, and a high
scoring one at that. Consider the following. Chris The 9-Iron Kid, who finished in third place, scored zero pars on his way to a
barfy 113. His performance included a six with five putts on the par-3 11th. P.P. Hornsby, who finished fourth, scored only one
par, although conveniently it was on the beer hole 18th. Halfway through the season, Hornsby has still yet to break 100. Dr.
Mario Blondin posted his high score of the season, scoring 61 on the back nine, his only par being a chip-in for a four on the
16th. Then, of course, there was 'The Biz', Costa Doinbiznis, also entering the clubhouse with his year's worst, a horrible 121
for the top rightie on the circuit. Most of the latter mentioned participants left the course with few golf balls in their possession,
having left them in various lakes and wooded areas. And let's try not to forget Pietro Lewinsky, who posted higher scores for
each of his nine holes than Nick Price did for 18 holes on both Saturday and Sunday on the PGA Tour this weekend. Pietro
proudly signed his 67-67 with the knowledge that once again he would finish last at a Lefty Golfers Association major. With the
win, Hale Erwin Norman now has the distinction of having won the first edition of all three majors, a feat surely to cement his
entry into the LGA Hall of Fame. Also, Norman's win means that the streak of major tournaments won by lefthanders now sits at
11, with righthanders remaining shut out. The next major tournament, the Lefty Masters, where Dr. Mario Blondin will try for a
third straight Yellow Jacket, is slated for late August.
famous chokes in LGA history. After being shut out from a major victory in 2002, the legendary Hale Erwin Norman became the
first player in modern LGA history to break 100 at Bonniebrook, coasting to a laughable 14 shot win and hoisting the Classic
Cup. Norman's 94 surprised even himself, as he had found it difficult breaking 110 at this venue over the years. His day
included a birdie on two to tie P.P. Hornsby once again for the season lead in that department, as well as a strong five pars on
the narrow layout. In second place once again was Fred Cupholders. Driving an electric cart for the event on this very hot and
humid day, Cupholders was roundly booed by the gallery upon his introduction, and further hissed at later when he
controversially picked up his ball on seven after landing in a cluster of rocks. Fred started strongly, contending until his lousy 8
on seven, immediately followed by a 10. After Cupholders, the leaderboard appeared more like a basketball game, and a high
scoring one at that. Consider the following. Chris The 9-Iron Kid, who finished in third place, scored zero pars on his way to a
barfy 113. His performance included a six with five putts on the par-3 11th. P.P. Hornsby, who finished fourth, scored only one
par, although conveniently it was on the beer hole 18th. Halfway through the season, Hornsby has still yet to break 100. Dr.
Mario Blondin posted his high score of the season, scoring 61 on the back nine, his only par being a chip-in for a four on the
16th. Then, of course, there was 'The Biz', Costa Doinbiznis, also entering the clubhouse with his year's worst, a horrible 121
for the top rightie on the circuit. Most of the latter mentioned participants left the course with few golf balls in their possession,
having left them in various lakes and wooded areas. And let's try not to forget Pietro Lewinsky, who posted higher scores for
each of his nine holes than Nick Price did for 18 holes on both Saturday and Sunday on the PGA Tour this weekend. Pietro
proudly signed his 67-67 with the knowledge that once again he would finish last at a Lefty Golfers Association major. With the
win, Hale Erwin Norman now has the distinction of having won the first edition of all three majors, a feat surely to cement his
entry into the LGA Hall of Fame. Also, Norman's win means that the streak of major tournaments won by lefthanders now sits at
11, with righthanders remaining shut out. The next major tournament, the Lefty Masters, where Dr. Mario Blondin will try for a
third straight Yellow Jacket, is slated for late August.
46-48--- 94
53-55--- 108
55-58--- 113
59-57--- 116
56-61--- 117
59-62--- 121
67-67--- 134
53-55--- 108
55-58--- 113
59-57--- 116
56-61--- 117
59-62--- 121
67-67--- 134
JUNE 28, 2003 - CAUGHNAWAGA
HALE E. NORMAN
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
P.P. HORNSBY
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
P.P. HORNSBY
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
40-44--- 84
49-46--- 95
47-50--- 97
58-53--- 111
49-46--- 95
47-50--- 97
58-53--- 111
During the first decade of the LGA's existence, fans have endured domination by Hale Erwin Norman, until last season, when it
appeared that parity finally had been achieved on the Tour. Recently, however, things appear as they once were as Norman,
fresh from his first major victory of the season, outclassed his opponents with a season low 84 and a runaway eleven shot win
over Dr. Mario Blondin, Erwin's third straight win and sixth of the campaign. Scoring 40 on the front nine, also a league low for
2003, Norman managed eight pars for the day, including one on the par-5 5th which should have been a birdie, with Hale
missing a putt from about a foot. Norman would count only 28 putts for the day. though, including several long ones which
found the hole. Back in form after a putrid stretch was Dr. Mario Blondin, who finally broke 100 for the first time in seven tries.
The doctor was grateful to Chris The 9-Iron Kid, who cancelled last minute, effectively ceding his spot to Blondin. Coming in
third to complete the lefty 1-2-3 sweep was P.P. Hornsby, who also ended his streak of triple digit scores at 17, with an
unspectacular 97, featuring only one par and 39 putts. Obviously, Hornsby was striking the ball well on this day, and now
returns to fourth spot in the LGA rankings, a position which would place him in the final group at the Lefty Masters (should he
remain there for the next two months). Last and least was rightie Freddie Cupholders, finishing a month of June during which
he had two wins and two second places, his front nine 58 put him out of contention almost immediately. Cupholders' par-free
round was considered as poetic justice by his lefty counterparts. After the event, Norman said to reporters, "It's good to see
Fred back where he belongs, and me as well." We'll see next week, Hale.
appeared that parity finally had been achieved on the Tour. Recently, however, things appear as they once were as Norman,
fresh from his first major victory of the season, outclassed his opponents with a season low 84 and a runaway eleven shot win
over Dr. Mario Blondin, Erwin's third straight win and sixth of the campaign. Scoring 40 on the front nine, also a league low for
2003, Norman managed eight pars for the day, including one on the par-5 5th which should have been a birdie, with Hale
missing a putt from about a foot. Norman would count only 28 putts for the day. though, including several long ones which
found the hole. Back in form after a putrid stretch was Dr. Mario Blondin, who finally broke 100 for the first time in seven tries.
The doctor was grateful to Chris The 9-Iron Kid, who cancelled last minute, effectively ceding his spot to Blondin. Coming in
third to complete the lefty 1-2-3 sweep was P.P. Hornsby, who also ended his streak of triple digit scores at 17, with an
unspectacular 97, featuring only one par and 39 putts. Obviously, Hornsby was striking the ball well on this day, and now
returns to fourth spot in the LGA rankings, a position which would place him in the final group at the Lefty Masters (should he
remain there for the next two months). Last and least was rightie Freddie Cupholders, finishing a month of June during which
he had two wins and two second places, his front nine 58 put him out of contention almost immediately. Cupholders' par-free
round was considered as poetic justice by his lefty counterparts. After the event, Norman said to reporters, "It's good to see
Fred back where he belongs, and me as well." We'll see next week, Hale.