| The Month in Review |
| A monthly feature recapping all Lefty Golfers Association events |
| May 2005 |
MAY 8, 2005 - LAFLEUR
HALE E. NORMAN
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
PAUL HORNSBY III
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
PAUL HORNSBY III
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
50-45--- 95
59-50--- 109
52-57--- 109
57-54--- 111
59-50--- 109
52-57--- 109
57-54--- 111
After two full weekends off due to bad weather, the LGA headed to Lafleur for yet another 'official' event. Now you would think
that any time away from the golf course would be good for our hapless lefties and hanger-on northpaws, but the foursome was
anxios nevertheless to return to action. Hale Erwin Norman continued his hot streak dating back to October 2004, scoring a
birdie en route to a 95 and a 14 shot win, his second of 2005. His play was not spectacular, but it was way better than anyone
else in the field. Finishing tied for second spot were the other two lefties, Dr. Mario Blondin and Paul Hornsby III. Actually,
Hornsby was seven shots ahead of Blondin heading to the 13th tee, where Paul would place a series of tee shots
out-of-bounds, allowing Blondin the opportunity to catch up. Hornsby faIled to score par for the day while Blondin could manage
only one. Finishing last once again was Costa Doinbiznis, who also took top rightie honours. 'The Biz' contended early on (very
early), but his crap-based play for the remainder of the round would tell the story. With only three official LGA events in the
books so far this season, 2005 has not been a prolific year thus far with respect to number of events played, but it has been
even less impressive if we are to consider the quality of play, which, as we have come to expect in the LGA, has been crap.
that any time away from the golf course would be good for our hapless lefties and hanger-on northpaws, but the foursome was
anxios nevertheless to return to action. Hale Erwin Norman continued his hot streak dating back to October 2004, scoring a
birdie en route to a 95 and a 14 shot win, his second of 2005. His play was not spectacular, but it was way better than anyone
else in the field. Finishing tied for second spot were the other two lefties, Dr. Mario Blondin and Paul Hornsby III. Actually,
Hornsby was seven shots ahead of Blondin heading to the 13th tee, where Paul would place a series of tee shots
out-of-bounds, allowing Blondin the opportunity to catch up. Hornsby faIled to score par for the day while Blondin could manage
only one. Finishing last once again was Costa Doinbiznis, who also took top rightie honours. 'The Biz' contended early on (very
early), but his crap-based play for the remainder of the round would tell the story. With only three official LGA events in the
books so far this season, 2005 has not been a prolific year thus far with respect to number of events played, but it has been
even less impressive if we are to consider the quality of play, which, as we have come to expect in the LGA, has been crap.
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Photos not available
MAY 21, 2005 - CAUGHNAWAGA
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
HALE E. NORMAN
PAUL HORNSBY III
HALE E. NORMAN
PAUL HORNSBY III
45-51--- 96
49-49--- 98
52-53--- 105
49-49--- 98
52-53--- 105
After yet another weekend off (actually Hornsby and Doinbiznis played the week before, but the official status of the event was
lifted when Hale Erwin Norman and Dr. Mario Blondin cancelled at the last minute due to 'clouds' and 'late night surgery', in that
order), the LGA made its season debut at the home of The Lefty Masters, Caughnawaga. Fred Cupholders, in his LGA season
opener, pulled ahead after a birdie on the par-3 6th, and hung on for a two-shot win over Hale Erwin Norman, his first victory of
the season, and first by a righthander in 2005. The win by Cupholders ended the season-long winning streak by Norman, just
hours after declaring that he would 'win every tournament this season''. Norman conveniently declined to mention the
tournaments that are held in his absence, when he deems the weather 'too cloudy'. As for his round, Hale managed to break
100 again, but his short game was not up to par, even though he scored three of them. Finishing in third (last) place was Paul
Hornsby III. 'Da Turd' did not hit the ball well off the tee all day long, and his 38 putts made things even more difficult. Still, at
least he showed up, unlike Dr. Mario Blondin, who was slated as the fourth participant for this event. The LGA is now
considering counting last minute no-shows as losses for the player involved, but it is doubtful that such a move would cure the
delinquincy now rampant in the LGA.
lifted when Hale Erwin Norman and Dr. Mario Blondin cancelled at the last minute due to 'clouds' and 'late night surgery', in that
order), the LGA made its season debut at the home of The Lefty Masters, Caughnawaga. Fred Cupholders, in his LGA season
opener, pulled ahead after a birdie on the par-3 6th, and hung on for a two-shot win over Hale Erwin Norman, his first victory of
the season, and first by a righthander in 2005. The win by Cupholders ended the season-long winning streak by Norman, just
hours after declaring that he would 'win every tournament this season''. Norman conveniently declined to mention the
tournaments that are held in his absence, when he deems the weather 'too cloudy'. As for his round, Hale managed to break
100 again, but his short game was not up to par, even though he scored three of them. Finishing in third (last) place was Paul
Hornsby III. 'Da Turd' did not hit the ball well off the tee all day long, and his 38 putts made things even more difficult. Still, at
least he showed up, unlike Dr. Mario Blondin, who was slated as the fourth participant for this event. The LGA is now
considering counting last minute no-shows as losses for the player involved, but it is doubtful that such a move would cure the
delinquincy now rampant in the LGA.
Photos not available
MAY 23, 2005 - LAPRAIRIE
THE DOCULAB CUP
THE DOCULAB CUP
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
PAUL HORNSBY III
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
PAUL HORNSBY III
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
45-56--- 101
52-51--- 103
54-56--- 110
52-51--- 103
54-56--- 110
A steady but light rain greeted the Golfers Division of the LGA for the third edition of the Doculab Cup, held at Laprairie. The
Girliemen Division, fearful of having raindrops spoil their hairdos and freshly painted nails, stayed home (or maybe went
shopping), leaving a field of three to vie for the honours. In what the manly participants admited were 'difficult' conditions,
righthander Costa Doinbiznis got off to a good start, scoring no worse than double-bogey during the entire front nine to build a
seven shot cushion, and played well enough in the back (56) to hang on for a two shot victory over fellow macho man Paul
Hornsby III. Hornsby carded five pars for the day, taking advantage of the wet greens by sticking it close on several occasions,
including on the beer hole 17th where himself and 'The Biz' both scored pars, ending the beer hole drought for 2005. Rounding
out the field was Dr. Mario Blondin, who had a rough time in the rain, and probably would not have showed up were it not for his
ditching of the LGA on Saturday morning past. Still his parless round and the fact that he completed it scored him points with
LGA brass, elevating him to manly status and a spot in the Golfers Division. After the event, LGA President Paul Hornsby (no
relation) toyed with the idea of actually dividing the Association into the two aforesaid divisions, but decided against the creation
of the Girliemen Division out of respect for women and homosexuals across the planet.
Girliemen Division, fearful of having raindrops spoil their hairdos and freshly painted nails, stayed home (or maybe went
shopping), leaving a field of three to vie for the honours. In what the manly participants admited were 'difficult' conditions,
righthander Costa Doinbiznis got off to a good start, scoring no worse than double-bogey during the entire front nine to build a
seven shot cushion, and played well enough in the back (56) to hang on for a two shot victory over fellow macho man Paul
Hornsby III. Hornsby carded five pars for the day, taking advantage of the wet greens by sticking it close on several occasions,
including on the beer hole 17th where himself and 'The Biz' both scored pars, ending the beer hole drought for 2005. Rounding
out the field was Dr. Mario Blondin, who had a rough time in the rain, and probably would not have showed up were it not for his
ditching of the LGA on Saturday morning past. Still his parless round and the fact that he completed it scored him points with
LGA brass, elevating him to manly status and a spot in the Golfers Division. After the event, LGA President Paul Hornsby (no
relation) toyed with the idea of actually dividing the Association into the two aforesaid divisions, but decided against the creation
of the Girliemen Division out of respect for women and homosexuals across the planet.
Photos not available
MAY 28, 2005 - DORVAL (OAKVILLE COURSE)
*FRED CUPHOLDERS
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
PAUL HORNSBY III
DR. MARIO BLONDIN
*COSTA DOINBIZNIS
PAUL HORNSBY III
51-54--- 105
58-52--- 110
56-60--- 116
62-64--- 126
58-52--- 110
56-60--- 116
62-64--- 126
Nice weather was finally in store for the LGA as it made its first appearance of the year at the Oakville Course at Dorval, where,
as usual, the real winner was the golf course. Fred Cupholders, in only his second LGA appearance of '05, played uninspired
golf throughout the round, but was still way better than his opponents en route to his second win of the season. Cupholders
would have shot an even lower score if the 'five' he declared on the par-4 15th hole, which after questioning became a 'six',
wasn't actually an 'eight'. Fred's duly corrected score was still five shots less than runner-up Dr. Mario Blondin, who finished as
top lefthander, despite appearing to have spent the previous night once again engaging in surgery, his late-night medical
practise enjoying a resurgence in recent weeks. That fact that has been reflected in his recent scores. Finishing easily in third
place was Doculab Cup winner Costa Doinbiznis. Costa put himself out of contention on the par-4 17th, after having turned a
381-yard hole into one measuring well over a half mile. After being unable to find his tee shot in very deep grass, he returned to
the teebox, hit another ball astray, then aimed for the wrong green. He would finally score a 12 for the hole. Even worse was
Paul Hornsby III. Hornsby failed to break 60 on both nines, which is almost normal for him at Dorval. His barf-filled round
included three holes in double-digits, and a chip-in birdie on the beer-hole 16th (go figure). In many respects, the event served
as a showcase for LGA talent, while in the process providing justification for the LGA's unofficial slogan, "These guys are crap!"
as usual, the real winner was the golf course. Fred Cupholders, in only his second LGA appearance of '05, played uninspired
golf throughout the round, but was still way better than his opponents en route to his second win of the season. Cupholders
would have shot an even lower score if the 'five' he declared on the par-4 15th hole, which after questioning became a 'six',
wasn't actually an 'eight'. Fred's duly corrected score was still five shots less than runner-up Dr. Mario Blondin, who finished as
top lefthander, despite appearing to have spent the previous night once again engaging in surgery, his late-night medical
practise enjoying a resurgence in recent weeks. That fact that has been reflected in his recent scores. Finishing easily in third
place was Doculab Cup winner Costa Doinbiznis. Costa put himself out of contention on the par-4 17th, after having turned a
381-yard hole into one measuring well over a half mile. After being unable to find his tee shot in very deep grass, he returned to
the teebox, hit another ball astray, then aimed for the wrong green. He would finally score a 12 for the hole. Even worse was
Paul Hornsby III. Hornsby failed to break 60 on both nines, which is almost normal for him at Dorval. His barf-filled round
included three holes in double-digits, and a chip-in birdie on the beer-hole 16th (go figure). In many respects, the event served
as a showcase for LGA talent, while in the process providing justification for the LGA's unofficial slogan, "These guys are crap!"
Photos not available