The Lefty Golfers Association

Welcome all to our official website.

For almost fifteen years now, our wonderful gang of lefties and
hanger-on righties have been turning heads (and stomachs) all
over Quebec, as one golfer after another tees it up from that
glorious southpaw stance.

Now you too, can enjoy all the wild and weird antics of The Lefty
Golfers Association, where the golf is both fun and competitive.

...AND HERE'S THE MONTHLY NEWS
March 23, 2007

LGA Brass Lazy, Ineffective, Golfers Simply
Ineffective

Now that you have memorized the previous edition
of The Monthly News, it having been posted on this
space for about two years now, the hard-resting
folks at the Lefty Golfers Association have decided
that perhaps it is time for an update.

Now you may ask why, exactly, it has taken almost
two years to bring loyal LGA fans up to speed.

Surely, you assure yourself, it cannot be because
of rightie Costa Doinbiznis' stellar 2005 season,
during which he won the Lefty Slam by taking all
three major tournaments. Can the LGA really be
that petty? Let's not explore that avenue, at least
not here.

How things change! It doesn't seem that long ago
that when we talked about Doinbiznis breaking 100,
it was actually one hundred golf clubs.

It also does not seem likely that it is sour grapes
over anything other righties, namely Fred
Cupholders and Pietro Lewinsky have done.

And it can't possibly be due to any feelings of
shame over the play of the lefthanders. The
southpaws have proven their shamelessness a long
time ago.

Yes, after exhausting all other probabilities we
conclude that the delay was caused by a
combination of procrastination and laziness, even
though many would consider both traits as one and
the same. Believe me, they're not. But then again,
this space is supposed to be reserved for news, so I
will try to keep things relevant.

Of course, every spring the feeble and distracted
minds of the LGA turn to what really matters, golf,
as yet another action packed season awaits.

And with every LGA season come the usual
questions, with their seasonal variations, however
limited.

Can Hale Erwin Norman repeat as LGA Player of
The Year yet again? He managed the honours in
2006 despite only appearing in 12 events, a record
for the Association.

They were obviously 12 good events. We wonder if
he can hold off an emerging competition for another
season without actually improving as a golfer. We
also wonder whether Hale (Fairweather) Norman will
appear in any LGA events prior to July 1st?

Can the two top righties, Costa Doinbiznis (2005
Player of The Year) and Fred Cupholders (perennial
runner-up for that same award) return to the top of
their respective games in '07? For 'The Biz', much
depends on his ability to keep the ball in play, while
for Cupholders, as much depends on his opponents'
ability to keep the ball out of play.

Will Dr. Mario Blondin continue his descent into
mediocrity? If the graph representing the doctor's
seasonal scoring averages were instead a stock
chart, it would seem a worthy investment, but we like
our golf scores to go down, not up, so smart money
predicts the unpredictable for Dr. Blondin.

Was Chris The 9-Iron Kid's 13 appearances in 2006
an aberration? Will 9-Iron score a birdie in '07?
Which putter will he use this season? Will he buy golf
shoes? Will he follow up on his penis enlargement
surgery of several years back? With The 9-Iron Kid,
can we confidently answer any of these questions?

Will Paul Hornsby III ever break 100 again? As of the
end of last season it didn't seem so. Also, will 'Da
Turd' ever learn to take his medicine? And will he
ever get the message out to the ladies that the
medicine we are referring to pertains to golf strategy?

Can Pietro Lewinsky defeat another veteran LGA
lefty as he did on August 12, 2006? Hornsby sure
hopes not. If not, how many years will it take for it to
happen again? Can Lewinsky go 36 holes without an
airball?

Stay tuned to these pages for the answers to these
questions and more. Remember to be patient. If the
Monthly News is not updated, refresh your browser
or try again later. Actually catching an update this
way will make you feel like a lottery winner. You may
not be kept informed in the timeliest of manners, but
you'll sleep well knowing your actions will improve the
website's statistics.

The Month in Review

Click on a month for a brief
summary of every LGA event

The Report Card

Click here for the latest stats,
updated weekly

The Lefty Olympics of Golf

The Lefty Masters

The LGA's Lefty Olympics of Golf has been the
'big event' of every golf season.

Bellevue hosted the 2006 edition, which saw
Hale Erwin Norman return to the gold medal
rung of the podium with an easy five shot win
over Dr. Mario Blondin and the rest of the small
but enthusiastic nine nation field.

The 12th annual Lefty Olympics of Golf is
scheduled for September 15, 2007, at a venue
which is yet to be determined.

Click here to view past Olympic results

The year 2000 saw the inauguration of a second
'major' tournament for the LGA, the Lefty Masters,
where our beloved lefties vie for the coveted Yellow
Jacket.

Last year's event was dramatic once again, with
Costa Doinbiznis donning the Jacket for a second
straight year, equalling Dr. Mario Blondin's record
of two consecutive Lefty Masters titles.

'The Biz' will be going for the three-peat on August
18th, 2007.

Click here to view past Masters results and photos

April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009

August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009

Player Bios

Click here for biographies,
photos and other facts about
your favourite LGA heroes.

This site was last updated on November 17, 2009

Kolumnist's Korner

We were going to call it
Kommunist Korner but some of the
contributors golf from the right
wing. Click here to enter
Kolumnist's Korner